Did I overreact? My wife thinks I'm becoming a gun nut

[neededausername]

I take a weird way home from work because I hate to stop. So I mainly take backroads instead of the main ones. The other day I was coming home from work and someone in front of me was driving slow then got in the left turn lane. I sped up and passed them, and they cut off the next person in the lane and got behind me. At this point I turned off the main road as I always do and the followed through a couple of turns without using blinkers. I was at a stoplight before making the last turn to go home and almost called my wife to get the gun and meet me in driveway. I didn't want anyone shot or hurt but figured if they saw the pistol they would just drive on. Anyway I turned and they went straight. I told this to my wife and she went on about me being to in the mindset of a gunowner and I should have found another way to resolve the situation.

What do you all think?

 

[saturno_v]

Slow down with the caffeine
Since I started to carry a gun I'm actually more prudent to avoid a confrontation....

 

[The Lone Haranguer]

Brandishing a firearm without a specific threat is a poor idea. If you draw, you had better be ready to shoot (Condition Red). If the situation did not justify shooting, it did not justify drawing.

 

[TimboKhan]

Waving a gun at someone who isn't manifestly a threat to you will get you in a whole lot of hot water. With that being said, there isn't anything wrong with making your being armed a point of awareness if the person steps even one foot onto your private property.

 

[Scott Skawronska]

When being followed, the LAST Thing you want to do is let them know where you LIVE.

Go somewhere else. I like police stations. Maybe I'm a bit overly cautious, but the only time someone sees my firearm is if they're a buddy and I'm showing it, or they're a bad guy and I'm SHOOTING it.

I carry a gun most of my adult life; I have no desire to brandish it both for legal and ethical reasons. If I have to draw, it's because someone's going to die, not because I want to warn them.

Having BEEN followed before, I do follow my own advice. I will drive past my house like it's not mine if I think I'm bringing home an assailant. It only takes one time for them to come back when you're not home and hurt the ones you love; You may be a hard target, but your family is not. Don't put them in jeopardy.

First Post.

Oh yeah. Hi. I'm Scott.

S

 

[ColinthePilot]

I agree, never bring the Bad guy home with you. But the fact that you noticed this guy following you shows good situational awareness, even though it appears to be innocent.
Just curious, why didn't you have the pistol with you? Granted, I don't more often than not, but if I have a bad guy following me, the first place I run for is home because I live on a base guarded by armed men; they'll stop him.

 

[gunshow]

she went on about me being to in the mindset of a gunowner

Well honey I AM a gunowner.

and I should have found another way to resolve the situation.

Did you tell her the situation resolved itself and you DIDN'T DO ANYTHING? {This is a logic driven point of view and it sounds like her mind is closed on the subject, so arguing will just get her to spout more nonsense and emotion} Not only that, but you were simply making contingency plans in your mind. You were being methodical not rash.

My suggestion, based on my experience with women, would be to LAY OFF THE SELF DEFENSE/PREPAREDNESS ASPECT OF GUN OWNERSHIP ENTIRELY. When you're speaking to her, focus on the fun you're having with guns and the entertainment value. She sounds like she's in the closed mindset of "guns aren't actually needed anymore so you are being dangerous and inventing a need for a gun." Once a woman is in that mindset, and once she's told herself you've adopted a crazy/dangerous mindset of a gunowner, trying to reason with her is dangerous and mostly pointless. You'll just sound DEFENSIVE (which women interpret as an admission of guilt). That's why I'm saying to bypass all that crap and show her how much fun you're having shooting, cleaning, accessorizing guns.

 

[qajaq59]

If the situation did not justify shooting, it did not justify drawing.

Yup, and most every judge in the country seems to agree. All that does is make you the aggressor, and they will hang you out to dry.

 

[45ACPUSER]

A better call would have been to call 911 and drove to the nearest PD/SO unit or to nearest police station.......why lead a potential problem to your home?

 

[GhostlyKarliion]

heh...

really, that was a very, very bad idea.

first of all, NEVER go home when someone is following you, ever. loose them first.

I had someone following me once, I turned around and made my way 4 miles to the local gun range, I stopped, they stopped behind me, I step out with a .45 in hand (I'm going to the gun range, so it's legal) and they turn tail and book it from the parking lot.

asking your wife to stand outside with a gun is also foolhardy at best, blantantly darwininan stupid at worst, sounds like you need to listen to your wife and tone it down a couple hundred rmp's.

 

[Blackcloud6]

Well, you almost overreacted. Brandishing like what you wanted your wife to do is illegal in many places. In Michigan that would have got you in a whole lot of trouble, and rightly so. People who carry should always be calm and cool under stress and pressure. Only pull out a firearm when you intend to use it and for all the right reasons to use it.

Best thing is to try to avoid confrontation when it comes to traffic rages. I try to blow them a kiss or give a freindly wave. I'm not always able to do so but it is is better to try.

 

[SaxonPig]

Paranoia.

 

[RPCVYemen]

When being followed, the LAST Thing you want to do is let them know where you LIVE.

Go somewhere else. I like police stations.

Good advice - when I was in Yemen, an embassy guy was shot up by a terrorist cell. The embassy guy drove right past two police stations, and then onto some deserted streets - on the way home. When he got to a street with no other traffic, they pulled up next top him, and opened fire.

The post-attack discussion was pretty much was that the guy had made the worst possible choices.

At this point I turned off the main road as I always do ...

If that means you went from a road with a lot of traffic to one without much traffic, then you did the two worst possible things:

1. Take the bad guys home.
2. Give the bad guys a chance to hit you with no one else around.

I am not being disrespectful, but those were not good choices. Why would you show them where you live, and identify your wife for them?

Mike

 

[SSN Vet]

When being followed, the LAST Thing you want to do is let them know where you LIVE.

+1 good advice.

driving into a place where you can't get out (i.e. parking the car and getting blocked in) is another "boo boo"

You want to keep all your options on the table. Driving to the PD is a good idea. Calling 911 another, as the first caller is initially viewed as the "victim". Driving to a very public place that is likely to have security cameras is another good idea.

I don't know about your wife, but mine usually has very good insights and knows me better than anyone else.

 

[DragonFire]

me being too in the mindset of a gunowner and I should have found another way to resolve the situation.

Actuallly, I think it is the complete opposite of the mindset of a (responsible) gunowner. Being responsible gunowner means you know the potential consequences of just drawing/showing your firearm, and the nightmare you will go through if you have to fire it, even in justifiable self-defense.

We know that a gun is NOT the answer to ever problem, and even when it is an answer, it should be the last one choose. If there is another way to resolve an issue we should take it. If that means leaving the resturant without eating, or appologizing even when it's not our fault, or driving around the block a few more times, then that's what we have to do.

And while situation awareness is great, we should take care to not fall over into paranoia. Any reason for you to think someone would be following you? Any reason to think you were a target of something/someone? It's good that you noticed "being followed" but it's probably a big leap to think it's a life-threatening situation.

Was that you're only response? Did you make note of the car's license plate number, or it's make and model? Any details of the driver? Even if you were a "target", and showing the firearm stopped the immediate situation, do you think that it would solve the overall situation? Lot's of things to think about other than that you need a gun.

The mere fact that you're questioning your actions means you're thinking. And that's always a good thing. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut instincts. Just make sure they are thoughtful instincts.

 

[scrat]

A better call would have been to call 911 and drove to the nearest PD/SO unit or to nearest police station.......why lead a potential problem to your home?

good suggestion.

 

[mbt2001]

I hope your wife said what she said in jest... I wonder how she would feel if you accused her of adopting Valley Girl ethos in her shopping and she is a "purse nut"?

Anyway, sense you didn't do anything but drive, you did fine. Thinking about events that don't happen is the hallmark of the Race and of cautious people in general.

FYI, calling your wife to get the gun would have needlessly put her in Harms way. If you think someone is following you, then don't go home, go to a police station.

I don't know about your wife, but mine usually has very good insights and knows me better than anyone else.

+1 on that and congrats to you. Marriage begins with commuinication. You sharing concerns and ideas with your partner is not a bad thing, but a bonding thing. Your wife should value the person you are as you should value the person that she is.

 

[Hokkmike]

An overreaction. I would drive around the neighborhood and not to my house until they left. Poor wifey must have been in a panic!

 

[bogie]

Boomsticks are not all-purpose tools.

They do not resolve all problems.

Best thing to do is to NOT drive like Danica Patrick. You are NOT on a track. You are engaged in transport, not competition. Drive like a sane person, don't get confrontational with other drivers, and you'll see several benefits. You won't get followed by people who you piss off. You won't get as many speeding or reckless driving tickets. You won't be in as many accidents. I tend to hang back, and see what other drivers are going to do, rather than get close to them, and then have to swerve to avoid their idiocy... Doesn't really take a lot longer to get from point a to point b.

Second best thing to do is find your local cop shop, and pull up in front.

 

[.cheese.]

I would not have driven home. I would have taken a major detour and headed towards the police station. If he turns off, I would drive a little more just to be sure I'd lost him or he wasn't following me in the first place, and then gone home. If he continued following, as I approached the police station I would have called 911 and let them know.

Didn't work so well for the mother of a friend of mine who just was killed doing the same thing down here in South Florida, but I would imagine generally it is effective.

Plus, I always have a gun with me. With that said though, I would have tried to avoid using it as much as possible, and certainly not drawn it until absolutely necessary.

Being spooked is one thing, brandishing is another.

Be careful.

 

[Just Jim]

When you have a road rager following you just drive to the police station and not home. They get paid to handle the reckless ones who inhabit America.

jj

 

[ochmude]

After reading all the posts in this thread, a question comes to mind. I'm sure we're all familiar with the research suggesting that hundreds of thousands, potentially millions of defensive gun uses occur each year. The majority of these uses do not involve the firing of a single round. In my eyes this leaves 3 possibilities. You either announce that you have a gun without displaying, display the gun without drawing, or draw without shooting. Any of these may be enough to de-escalate whatever situation you happen to be in.

My question is this. At what point do these cease to be legitimate defensive gun uses and become illegal brandishing? I'm sure there is an easy common sense answer, but IMHO the laws rarely allow for the application of common sense. I'm also aware that the laws vary greatly from state to state. Not looking for legal advice, just curious what your opinions are. And sorry if this should be in a different catagory or in it's own thread. The question just came to me and I posted it. Mods, feel free to relocate this as you see fit.

 

[Just Jim]

If you are going to show your gun it better be in your defense.

jj

 

[Mp7]

Seems like you analyzed the situation well.
with the help of your wife.

you didn´t shoot through your back window
... so there´s still hope.

 

[Kharn]

Switch to decaf.

Kharn