I'm so tactical that...

[TCB in TN]

I'm so tactical that my sweat is used as gun lube!

I'm so tactical that my condoms have to be made of Kevlar!

I'm so tactical that Carolyn McCarthy wants to ban my thing that goes up!

I'm so tactical that with only a katana and some phone cord I could wipe out most 3rd world countries!

I'm so tactical that I am the only one in this room, professional enough to (bang).......... never mind, can someone call the paramedics?

I'm so tactical that my wheelbarrow has class III weapons, armor plating, and a new stealth package!

 

[XD Fan]

my Assault .22LR

Hey! Not funny. I had one of those once.

 

[CypherNinja]

I'm so tactical:

• The government studied my eyes in order to improve their spy satellites.
• 45% of false positives generated by the No-Fly List result from a single entry: me.
• My car only looks like a golf cart to fool the unsuspecting.
• The last time I lost money on the Super Bowl the NSA went to Code Red and half the CIA decided to take a long weekend.
• There are three guys living in my basement that keep my armory stocked. I helped them emigrate from the Khyber Pass.
• If I ever have kids, my wife will have to file a Form 1.

 

[TCB in TN]

Just a few more!

I'm so tactical that there are 13 UN resolutions against me!

I'm so tactical that Mayor Fenty has classified me as a machine gun!

I'm so tactical that mall ninjas use my pictures for porn!

I'm so tactical that Rambo watches my movies!

I'm so tactical that I have no sporting purpose!

I'm so tactical that I have no common use!

 

[The Tourist]

I'm wearing so much camouflage clothing that I'm not sure if I'm even here.

 

[esmith]

I'm wearing so much camouflage clothing that I'm not sure if I'm even here.

Instant classic. Some good jokes here.

So tactical that i don't need a bullet-proof vest, i grow dragonskin.

 

[Hoplophile]

More contributions:

* I'm so tactical, I am SPECIFICALLY exempted from the second amendment.

* I'm so tactical, Delta Force packs a "me" bag, instead of a tactical bag.

* I'm so tactical, I wear three thigh rigs.

* I'm so tactical, my chairs have holsters on them.

* I'm so tactical, my forks are made of 154CM.

* I'm so tactical, I wrote a book: Tactical Plunging: Float, Sink, or Die.

 

[Gunnerpalace]

I'm so tactical I can:

Blade at a 45o angle while taking multiple hits of .338 Lapua from my golf cart with Mp5's in the footwells and Shrikes on the side.

 

[Trebor]

I'm too tactical for this thread.

 

[plainsbilly]

I am so tactical when I go to the range,ammo prices go up.

 

[B yond]

I'm so tactical that I can eat lead and about an hour later I make my own bullets.

I'm so tactical I ranked first in CounterStrike!

I'm so tactical my underwear accepts MOLLE pouches.

I'm so tactical I can eat garlic and breathe tear gas.

 

[Blarelli]

I'm so tactical, my skidmarks come in digital camo.

 

[B yond]

I'm so tactical my car puts out a smoke screen.

Sometimes an oil slick too.

 

[B yond]

I'm so tactical my cat is camoflaged.

I'm so tactical I can shoot a 1 inch group at 10 miles with a G17.

I'm so tactical I'm the only one professional enough to... >BANG<

 

[B yond]

I'm so tactical that I use nightvision goggles to check my closet for monsters before bed.

I'm so tactical that you can mount a spork to my picatinny rails.

I'm so tactical that the government denies my existance.
I'm so tactical my wife denies my existance too.

 

[B yond]

I'm so tactical I have over 500 posts on The High Road!

I'm so tactical my kids come in black matte and duo-tone!

I'm so tactical I have a high-capacity belly.

I'm so tactical I keep my trigger finger trained by typing on internet forums in the middle of the night.

 

[Kind of Blued]

I'm so tactical that I'm actually too fat to run.

 

[qwert65]

I'm so tactical that if I see my reflection I wet myself

I'm so tactically I'm not allowed around schools

I'm so tactical chuck norris checks under his bed for me

 

[Shung]

I'm so tactical that no one suspect that I am.

I'm so tactical I have a 4 safety rules for myself.

I'm so tactical that I can go full auto.

I'm so tactical that no one ever tried to kill me

 

[hatchetbearer]

I'm so tactical that the reason they stopped importing cheap firearms is so id have less money to train. but they forgot...

I'm so tactical that I dont need to train....

 

[texastony]

I'm so tactical, I don't cast a reflection.

 

[Igloodude]

I'm so tactical, my kids are named Glock, Sig, and Colt (my wife Beretta was not amused though)

I'm so tactical that I'm even banned in Texas.

I'm so tactical that my blood does not exit new wounds until the area has been declared clear of hostiles.

I'm so tactical that some countries consider my swearing in their native language to be causus belli.

 

[JWarren]

I'm so tactical that my ex-brother-in-law (who is an anti) doesn't want my nephew coming to my home.

I'm so tactical that said nephew thinks that I am a god and talked incessentally about me to said anti-ex-brother-in-law.


-- John

 

[doc2rn]

I am so tactical that 1911tuner's super lube is actually my perspiration.

*that I mount a bayonet to my MK-19.

*that after 17 days without a bath I resembled the floura and fauna of my surroundings.

 

[craig]

I invented tactical back when i was teaching John Browning how to design guns.

It just took the world all these years to catch up.