On those one at a time:
RECOIL:
Since I prefer the 110 grain jhp loads over the 125 grain jhp rounds in my .357 magnum, power is the same for both types, but the pistols are lighter and carry much more ammo.
As the semi-automatic pistols are normally powered by the recoil of the round being fired, some of the recoil is absorbed by the ejecting and reloading the chamber process of the pistol. When using ammo of the same ballistics, the pistol will have less recoil than the revolver.
Recoil absorbing, rubber grips on a revolver can help a lot, but my own experience in shooting is that the revolvers kicks more.
I am issued a .40 S&W, but prefer 9m.m. I think that power is sufficient, especially with +P and +P+ ammo.
+P+ is not a marketing gimmick. It is not a standardized pressure as +P is, but the bullet weight and velocity are standardized and the street performance is proven. My agency allowed private purchase of duty weapons in 9m.m. as long as we used the issue ammo which was +P+. I never heard of a failure to stop with it and we shot a lot of people with it.
We only went to the .40 S&W after the 155 grain jhp became available. In service use, it has proven as effective as the .357 magnum 125 grain jhp.
I know from my own experience using it, that the BERETTA 96D and H&K P-2000 are easier to shoot that my S&W 681 using the 125 grain jhp. My agency has found the .40 S&W just as effective on the street.
COMPACTNESS:
I do not find a BERETTA 92D more compact than a S&W 681, just lighter.
I do find the BERETTA 92D Compact, even lighter and easier to conceal due to the flat shape.
I find my GLOCK 19 and WALTHER P-99 much lighter and even easier to conceal.
Concerning my SPRINGFIELD ARMORY XD Sub Compact, it is absolutely more compact with 13 rounds instead of 6.
A S&W j frame with a 3 inch barrel is very compact and light. It also has only 5 rounds, is slow to reload and not much easier to conceal than my XD.
TRIGGER:
Yes, the choice of gun makes a big difference, but you have more choices with a pistol. I prefer double action only guns in both pistols and revolvers. I had the trigger on my 581 and 681 tuned and made double action only.
My agency then adopted the BERETTA 96D Brigadier and I was shocked at how nice the trigger was. Since then, I have shot BERETTA double action only models more than any other pistol. BERETTA removed the single action springs and this smoothed and lightened the double action trigger to the point it feels as good as my revolvers.
If you want a different trigger, like a short, light one, you can go GLOCK, XD or 1911 style single action. There is nothing comparable with a revolver that I would consider for self defense or police use. Single action revolvers have no place in police use.
Also, you can go with a double action/single action trigger like the SIG pistols.
It is the shooter's choice.
SIGHTS:
The BERETTA Brigadier had large, easy to see sights with night sights. VERY FEW, IF ANY REVOLVERS come from the factory with these very useful features. Sure you can add them, but I have bought my guns with them already installed. If you don't think they are useful, fine, but my first night qualification with night sights convinced me. BIG ADVANTAGE.
Also, while not a sight, a rail that you can attached a light or laser too is a huge advantage. Night quals with a flashlight in hand proved that to me as well. My house gun carries a light and will never be without it.
RELOAD:
No way can revolvers compete. Yes, Jerry MICULEK can do it and he is amazing, but few others can. Show any police department which still issues a revolver with officers who can reload as fast as a department using pistols.
I can reload my pistol in about 1/3 the time I can reload a revolver with less chance of a blown reload and I have to reload far fewer times.
I have seen many officers reload a pistol quicker and none reload slower.
I have based my opinions on my experience and observations in using both types of handguns for defense and law enforcement.
I have nothing against a good revolver, I still own my 681 and 686 as well as others, but I would feel better armed with a pistol.
Jim