Family member threatened, looking to help them know what they need to know.

[BrownShoes]

A family member has been directly threatened with physical violence over a personal issue. He is not a security minded individual and lives a very sedentary and worry-free life. He is older and has health issues.

I am looking for advice on a crash course on personal security; basically I want him to know what he needs to know to defend himself. This is a bit interesting because he has put no thought into his personal security and we need to start him from the ground up and teach him as much as possible as fast as possible.

So where do I even start?

I am looking to provide materials to him detailing all the things we all have put a lot of time into thinking about: justified use of force, the body's reaction to conflict, how to spot a crime before it happens, etc. Does anyone have any short and sweet sources for these sorts of things?

 

[David E]

Start with asking him if he wants to participate.

 

[fallout mike]

Call the police and report the threat.

 

[BrownShoes]

Start with asking him if he wants to participate.

Participate in what?

Call the police and report the threat.

The police have been notified (only after I advised him to notify them) but as of now there is nothing they can do but record the incident in their files. They said something about the threat not being direct enough. Overall though I have been pleased with their response so far.

 

[fallout mike]

Participate in learning a little about personal security is what david was saying. You are saying we need to do this and that with not saying what the individual that was threatened is saying, thinking, or doing.

 

[David E]

Participate in learning a little about personal security is what david was saying. You are saying we need to do this and that with not saying what the individual that was threatened is saying, thinking, or doing.

Bingo.

 

[MachIVshooter]

Participate in learning a little about personal security is what david was saying. You are saying we need to do this and that with not saying what the individual that was threatened is saying, thinking, or doing.

Bingo.

And another bingo. If he is not interested in protecting himself, there is little you can do to help him.

 

[Skribs]

There are multiple layers of defense. The first is mindset.

 

[David E]

There are multiple layers of defense. The first is mindset.

And often, the most difficult to impart.

 

[Sam1911]

As others have said, he has to WANT to take on the responsibility for his own safety, and be willing to actively pursue a mindset of security. There are schools and instructors that could help instill that but I doubt you're in a position to put him in that type of program.

The biggest thing you could probably do is to help him start opening up his eyes and critically examining his situation and habits. "Situational Awareness" is a common term for at least parts of this. Does he look ahead to where he's about to go? Does he keep his 'head on a swivel' and pay attention to who's around and behind him and what they seem to be doing? Does he spend time in places alone, and out of sight of others? When driving, is there any way he can park inside a garage with an automatic door so that he can enter/exit the car inside a secure area?

Further, does he take the time to verify who's at the door before opening it? Does he lock his doors? Are the grounds surrounding his house well lighted? Are there any paths whereby it would be very easy to get to/into his home unnoticed? Does he have any sort of early warning system against home intrusion? (Alarm system? Dog?)

The first, and most important step toward being safe is to think about where and how trouble may get to you and take active steps not to be in those places, and to close off those avenues.

 

[robmkivseries70]

Cooper's "Principles of Personal Defense" is a good easy read and a good starting point.
Best,
Rob

 

[Deanimator]

Call the police and report the threat.

As a means of legal CYA, excellent advice.

As "protection", UTTERLY worthless. And I have personal experience to back it up.

1. The police have no legal duty to protect individuals.
2. The police have no legal liability when they fail to protect individuals.
3. The police have virtually no physical ability to protect individuals.

If you're not willing and able to protect YOURSELF, you're just not going to get protected AT ALL. Anybody who tells you different is lying.

The police don't protect individuals. They draw chalk outlines around individuals who don't protect themselves.

Reporting a threat to police gets you on record as the "victim".

It does NOTHING else.

If the relative isn't willing to arm himself and take whatever action becomes necessary, if it ever does, he's just putting his life and limb in the hands of somebody who's already communicated a desire to do him harm.

If the one making the threats is either bluffing or not especially motivated, he'll probably be alright.

If NOT, the police are AT BEST going to investigate his maiming or murder after the fact.

But it's the relative's choice to make.

 

[Owen Sparks]

You could have a "talk" with the person threatening him.

 

[sm]

One cannot change people, places and things.
Only a person can change themselves.

Suggestion, if I may, is to have this individual attend a courtroom and take in a trial.

The gist being, viewing reality as it really is, what really happens in the real world, the consequences, how evil is doing what it is doing in his/her locale, political favor, and legal interpretations, and so forth and so on.

The reality is, most folks will not change until something awful happens to them or to someone they are close to.

Only they and they alone can change themselves.

Steve

 

[Zoogster]

Where is this located?


Every state has its own laws.


Someone they know? Do they work with them? Are they related? Is it a neighbor? Is it some financial dispute?


The role that person has in their life can change things.
In fact even the law changes based on some of such things regarding lethal force in some states.

 

[2zulu1]

My background is different, but there are some great benefits living with a trained German Shepherd.

 

[Sol]

Deanimator is correct. Your relative should report it to them just so they have a record if something happens.

On another note, dean you and I are practically neighbors. I live in Liberalwood.

 

[Deanimator]

On another note, dean you and I are practically neighbors. I live in Liberalwood.

I moved here from Chicago in '86. Compared to THAT, Lakewood is practically rural Idaho!

Isn't preemption great?!

 

[GEM]

Having a talk with the person is a wonderful idea. The DA will love it when he or she might try to prove premeditation if you unfortunately get into an ambiguous shooting with said person.

If you threaten violence, they can arrest you!

Also, contact a lawyer - get a restraining order. Strengthens your legitimate legal basis if things go south as compared to having a talk with someone.

Note that restraining orders usually don't restrain anyone.

An older person can learn some precautions and techniques, if they want. Those were good ideas.

 

[Kleanbore]

Posted by Owen Sparks: You could have a "talk" with the person threatening him.

It is not clear what you are suggesting, but that having a talk with someone like that would be a very poor idea indeed, from a 'tactical' standpoint and from a legal one.

If you are suggesting making veiled threat, that would put you at great risk.

If you go armed, you will have put in place a series of events that could lead to violence and to your arrest and conviction or to your being seriously injured or worse.

The irony is that should you be shot, the act may be deemed justifiable.

 

[Shadow 7D]

Get them to read
http://www.amazon.com/Gavin-de-Becker/e/B001HCVD06/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1
his 'gift of fear' is a wonderful starting point

http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/MOSAIC-Gavin-de-Beckers-Online-Threat-Assessment-Tool
understand it's geared towards Domestic Violence and women, but it's effective, ranked my BIL ex as a 6, and the crazy chick still texts him naked pics even though she's married with kids, so yeah, I'd say shes a stalker (and a batterer)

finally, he has to care, somepeople don't care, it impinges on their idea of reality, their world is a nice place, and this person was a bit angry, so they put it out if their mind (literally, Denial) cause it doesn't fit with the warm and fuzzy.