How could I have handled this better?
- Thread starter Charles Martel
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Charles Martel
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- Feb 9, 2007
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Yeah, this guy was just looking for an excuse to explode. Hell, I didn't know him from Eve and I had no reason to provoke him (beyond asking him to MYOB - not a good idea as it turned out).
IMO, pulling a gun would have been a grave mistake. This guy already had gone beserk. I'm not sure why he didn't take a swing at me. In retrospect, I should have called 911 and taken his license plate number.
It seems to me that in this situation, a gun would only have helped AFTER he took a swing at me. I had no way of knowing whether or not he was going to attack me until he actually did so. So pulling a gun with him that close could very well have been catastrophic and pulling it before he got that close could be viewed as brandishing.
Thoughts?
The first thing to pull out is your cellphone, dialing 911. Report an altercation at XYZ Mart at the corner of Whatever and WhereamI. The Pump Nazis may decide at that point to flip you off and let it go.
If necessary, pull out your pepper spray. You're not going to jail for having that in your hand. But as you reported it, this is just not a "I needed a gun" moment. (But you should have had it on you anyway, just because.)
You did fine, although the "none of your business" comment probably escalated it and you might have done better saying nothing at all. I had an unexpected altercation myself recently at the Home Depot. It was raining, I have arthritis, I was hurting, and I needed a close-in spot. I pulled up to the DP spots near the entrance, and some nitwit had TWO trucks (yes, you read that right), his pickup and another, plus a CAR, taking up three or four of the DP spots on one side. I pulled up and stopped, trying to figure out if I was really seeing what I was seeing...these geniuses were loading up one pickup truck and apparently were also dividing their purchases up among the other vehicles. None of the vehicles had a handicapped plaquard or license plate. I backed up, scooted the car around and got into one an aisle over; and as I went past them going in, I said, politely, "You know, that's for DP plates only".
The guy went ballistic. He followed me across the parking lot screaming about how many DP spots Home Depot has. I was not worried about a physical assault; he just felt like he had to reassert his alphadom, such as it was. I went into the store, and checked to make sure he didn't follow me in, or go back and damage my car, and let it go. During his rant, I just kept walking and didn't answer. Anything I could have said would just have made it worse, and there's not much less dignified than a 52 year old woman in a shouting match with a fool.
You and your dad are okay, but I would seriously recommend thinking cellphone and pepper spray first in some sort of loony problem like this. (And others are right...there is no such thing as a "passenger side pump". That's just goofy.
Springmom
If necessary, pull out your pepper spray. You're not going to jail for having that in your hand. But as you reported it, this is just not a "I needed a gun" moment. (But you should have had it on you anyway, just because.)
You did fine, although the "none of your business" comment probably escalated it and you might have done better saying nothing at all. I had an unexpected altercation myself recently at the Home Depot. It was raining, I have arthritis, I was hurting, and I needed a close-in spot. I pulled up to the DP spots near the entrance, and some nitwit had TWO trucks (yes, you read that right), his pickup and another, plus a CAR, taking up three or four of the DP spots on one side. I pulled up and stopped, trying to figure out if I was really seeing what I was seeing...these geniuses were loading up one pickup truck and apparently were also dividing their purchases up among the other vehicles. None of the vehicles had a handicapped plaquard or license plate. I backed up, scooted the car around and got into one an aisle over; and as I went past them going in, I said, politely, "You know, that's for DP plates only".
The guy went ballistic. He followed me across the parking lot screaming about how many DP spots Home Depot has. I was not worried about a physical assault; he just felt like he had to reassert his alphadom, such as it was. I went into the store, and checked to make sure he didn't follow me in, or go back and damage my car, and let it go. During his rant, I just kept walking and didn't answer. Anything I could have said would just have made it worse, and there's not much less dignified than a 52 year old woman in a shouting match with a fool.
You and your dad are okay, but I would seriously recommend thinking cellphone and pepper spray first in some sort of loony problem like this. (And others are right...there is no such thing as a "passenger side pump". That's just goofy.
Springmom
This may be sightly off topic, however:
Whatever the situation, deploying a gun is of course the last option. For myself, I have trained to the point where if I deploy my gun I am going to shoot. Period. I will not display as a deterrent. If it works as a deterrent and I can safely disengage from the situation then that is good but that will not be my mindset when I deploy. The only exception to this is if I am in a situation where I feel a threat and I can deploy unobserved and be ready if needed. I feel that that if you can maintain this level of discpline you will not even consider using deadly force unless you feel 100% justified.
So, granted that: I come from a small town; I don't take kindly to city folks and their attitudes; I give and expect common decency; I don't apologize unless I mean it; I'm old fashioned and bitter - even though I'm 21 everyone I know has independently told me I act more like I'm 71 (I swear, I get this a lot)...I say, you did fine. Whimper and shuffle your feet for this loser? No thanks. Good job. I normally hate to give my age on these things, because it's so easy to say, well what does he know? And yeah, I don't know much. But I know I'm not a push-over. And neither are you!
Cheers.
Cheers.
TallPine
Member
I just remembered ... you're not supposed to use a cellphone around gasoline fumes, right ??? (yeah, i made the same suggestion earlier)
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