why stand your ground against the bully? You'll never see him again, and he's obviously at fault. Start apologizing, and if that doesn't work then start hitting yourself in the head violently. Exclaim something like "No uncle Joe, I won't be your princess any more" Nobody beats up a crazy guy.
Just hit yourself in the head multiple times and run away screaming "bees! bees! bees!"
This used to work for me when I worked in the fast food industry. As a teenage manager, you get a lot of beligerent jerks who want to chew someone because they don't like how their life turned out or something. I don't know how many times I curled up into the fetal position on the ground behind the counter, covered my head and said "No daddy, don't hit me any more. I won't do it again. I'm sorry. No daddy, stop daddy"
It's messed up, I know... but I once had an African American 30-something woman come up to the counter with a cheeseburger that had a tomato on it. She asked for a manager, at 9pm I was the manager. "How can I help?" "There's tomato on this cheeseburger!" "I'm sorry, totally our mistake. Let me replace it, sorry for the inconvenience [ringing it in on the register] Ma'am, Did you order it without tomato?!" "Is your cracker a$# calling me a liar? Worthless cracker freckle face pimple popping no good can't get a better job than Wendy's illeterate cracker white trash peckerwood" Just like that, I'm not kidding, that woman had her insult in line before she even got to the counter.
"No, ma'am, not calling you a liar at all. We're replacing our mistake. I'm commenting to tell you that our Single cheeseburger comes with tomato unless you tell us that you don't want it. I'm very sorry that I offended you"
"You wouldn't have said it if I weren't Brown."
That's when I hit myself in the head twice and fell to the ground in the fetal position, covered my head and started chanting like I was abused as a kid. She didn't know what to do. She said something like "crazy %@#$" one of the employees gave her a cheeseburger and the employees started crowding around me because they had no idea what I was up to. I guess it was kinda convincing coming from a guy who was normally pretty serious.
Had another fella show up at 4pm (right after we did bank cash deposit) and ordered some food. Then tried to pay with $100 bill. The employee couldn't make change from her drawer, so she told him he'd have to wait while she asked the manager for change. Came to my office told me the situation, I went to the other cash drawers and came up with $100 in $5 bills and went up to the counter. The man sees this and says "you don't have any f'ing 20's? What kinda place is this, you don't have any f'ing 20's?" "No, I just got back from the bank, we deposited everything but $5's and $1's for change. I'm just following the rules, I don't want to get fired." "That's total bull$#@% I'm not taking fifty 5 dollar bills. f^#% stupid. your food is horrible anyways!" "Sorry sir, when they tear this place down I'll recommend they build a bank in it's spot! Have a good one!" ya, I know, I'm a smart alec, but there were cops in the lobby (shift change is at 5 in that town) and I kinda wanted to see him get angry in front of four local policeman.
He starts back toward the counter "What did you just say? Wise %@#$ punk kid, you don't know what you just started." I'm looking at the police now, they're looking at me like I'm gonna cause them some paperwork. He picks up a pile of trays and chucks them over the counter. I and another employee duck, and he yells some other explicatives... turns around and finds two policeman staring at him. He's shocked. "go ahead and turn around sir. Do you have any weapons that we should know about?" they frisk him... read him his rights and escort him out. I then spend an hour, on the clock, at the police station filling out a police report. Then another thirty minutes a few days later on taped interview with a detective.
There's quite a few other stories, but those are the funniest ones.
Just hit yourself in the head multiple times and run away screaming "bees! bees! bees!"
This used to work for me when I worked in the fast food industry. As a teenage manager, you get a lot of beligerent jerks who want to chew someone because they don't like how their life turned out or something. I don't know how many times I curled up into the fetal position on the ground behind the counter, covered my head and said "No daddy, don't hit me any more. I won't do it again. I'm sorry. No daddy, stop daddy"
It's messed up, I know... but I once had an African American 30-something woman come up to the counter with a cheeseburger that had a tomato on it. She asked for a manager, at 9pm I was the manager. "How can I help?" "There's tomato on this cheeseburger!" "I'm sorry, totally our mistake. Let me replace it, sorry for the inconvenience [ringing it in on the register] Ma'am, Did you order it without tomato?!" "Is your cracker a$# calling me a liar? Worthless cracker freckle face pimple popping no good can't get a better job than Wendy's illeterate cracker white trash peckerwood" Just like that, I'm not kidding, that woman had her insult in line before she even got to the counter.
"No, ma'am, not calling you a liar at all. We're replacing our mistake. I'm commenting to tell you that our Single cheeseburger comes with tomato unless you tell us that you don't want it. I'm very sorry that I offended you"
"You wouldn't have said it if I weren't Brown."
That's when I hit myself in the head twice and fell to the ground in the fetal position, covered my head and started chanting like I was abused as a kid. She didn't know what to do. She said something like "crazy %@#$" one of the employees gave her a cheeseburger and the employees started crowding around me because they had no idea what I was up to. I guess it was kinda convincing coming from a guy who was normally pretty serious.
Had another fella show up at 4pm (right after we did bank cash deposit) and ordered some food. Then tried to pay with $100 bill. The employee couldn't make change from her drawer, so she told him he'd have to wait while she asked the manager for change. Came to my office told me the situation, I went to the other cash drawers and came up with $100 in $5 bills and went up to the counter. The man sees this and says "you don't have any f'ing 20's? What kinda place is this, you don't have any f'ing 20's?" "No, I just got back from the bank, we deposited everything but $5's and $1's for change. I'm just following the rules, I don't want to get fired." "That's total bull$#@% I'm not taking fifty 5 dollar bills. f^#% stupid. your food is horrible anyways!" "Sorry sir, when they tear this place down I'll recommend they build a bank in it's spot! Have a good one!" ya, I know, I'm a smart alec, but there were cops in the lobby (shift change is at 5 in that town) and I kinda wanted to see him get angry in front of four local policeman.
He starts back toward the counter "What did you just say? Wise %@#$ punk kid, you don't know what you just started." I'm looking at the police now, they're looking at me like I'm gonna cause them some paperwork. He picks up a pile of trays and chucks them over the counter. I and another employee duck, and he yells some other explicatives... turns around and finds two policeman staring at him. He's shocked. "go ahead and turn around sir. Do you have any weapons that we should know about?" they frisk him... read him his rights and escort him out. I then spend an hour, on the clock, at the police station filling out a police report. Then another thirty minutes a few days later on taped interview with a detective.
There's quite a few other stories, but those are the funniest ones.