Writing gunfights is hard

[Nightcrawler]

I swear, folks, writing a good gunfight scene can be frustrating. I mean, these things are supposed to be fast paced, and sometimes, when you put it down on paper (or type it into Wordpad), it seems like everything is going in slow-motion.

Though, having read nearly the entire Tom Clancy collection and some other very good novels has given me insight on how to pull it off. Robert A. Heinlein does a great job too, though I've only read two of his books (Starship Troopers and Friday).

Gotta stick with it, though. After much excuse making, I've made getting back into writing to be one of my new year's resolutions (that and getting back into shape. Qatar and Mississippi dang near killed me. Well, Mississippi killed me on the inside, but that's different).

Problem is, Qatar made me stupid. But I'm working on that. Now that I've got a bit of free time (well, I'm going on vacation today, but after I get back, I'll have free time), I might as well get rolling, right?

Anyway, as I was saying, the pacing of a gunfight (or any action scene, for that matter) can be difficult in writing. It can take pages to describe something that happens in moments, and it can bog everything down.

I also have to be careful not to use too much jargon. I try to generify (I think I just made that word up) much of the terminology so, you know, a non High-Roader could understand what the heck I'm talking about.

I like writing fiction. I mean, my previously famous, now-forgotten story was so fun to write I'm suprised it wasn't illegal. And not just because it was a bunch of self-aggrandizing, either. It was fun because I just had fun with it, you know?

The writing comes easy for me, sometimes. Often, it's creating a halfway-decent story that's the hard part. The aforementioned story was in many ways a cop-out. By writing about myself in my own location, I avoided having to create a setting (mostly) and a lot of character creation.

I'm good at setting creation; I often have ideas that I think would be great settings for stories. Where I run into trouble is creating characters and stories to take place in those settings, you know?

I'm not going to focus entirely on fiction. Eventually, no BS, I'm going to write an article and submit it to a gun magazine. A respectable one that I read, not one of those silly ones (you know the ones I mean).

Anyway, any other would-be writers on THR have difficulty typing a good gunfight?

 

[PlayboyPenguin]

I love how we picture most gunfight...the battle of the quick draws. Wasn't it Wyatt Earp that said a steady, deliberate aim and fire will win nine out of ten times when battling a quick draw expert. You just have to be able to stay calm with bullets whizzing past you.

 

[Nightcrawler]

You just have to be able to stay calm with bullets whizzing past you.

That's assuming, of course, that the incoming fire is missing you.

 

[PlayboyPenguin]

That's assuming, of course, that the incoming fire is missing you.

Yeah, I think that was his point. He says that fast draw guys always fired an average of 4 shots or so before they actually hit the guy in front of them. So you had to be able to fire one accurate shot before they fired a few fast wild ones.

 

[robert garner]

as he fumbled with the safety on his S&W

ah shucks that isnt fiction anymore is it?

 

[Red Dragon]

It's not just gunfights that are hard to write. Any kind of fights are a pain in the butt to write. Knife fights, fist fights, sword fights, any kind of fight is difficult because fights are so visual. Fights move very quickly and if ya try to write every single move, duck, punch, kick, and push, it can become overwhelming to the reader and make the scene boring. Thats why I like the screenplay format better. Fight scenes don't need to be in that much detail because in the end, it's going to be visualized on screen.

 

[Devonai]

While the action sequences in the book described in my sig are relatively simplistic, those in the sequel (coming in May) are much more complicated. When writing such sequences, I ask myself four things.

1. Does the blocking make sense?

2. Do any of the characters exceed their previously-established limits or do anything unbelievable?

3. How can I keep the descriptive elements to a minimum and still make the scene important and dramatic?

4. Do the round counts add up?

Of course, #3 is the hitch. The first novel I ever wrote was chock-full of firefights, and my friends and family complained that there was too much detail, the characters were too hard-boiled, and the action was simply an impediment to the overall story. Now I focus on what the characters are doing and how they feel about it at least in equal measure.

Hand-to-hand combat is more personal, so I usually relate how the character feels about it rather than a blow-by-blow dictation. Here's an example from The Tarantula Nebula:

Richter and Ari closed with each other and began a violent dance. At first there was very little hard contact, each of them drawing heavily on their Aikido training to skirt around the other and avoid any damage. Soon the full strikes came into play, with each side giving up a hit for every four or five that was blocked or dodged. Ari was good, Richter knew, but she was fighting with a focus that he’d never seen in her before. He pushed aside his conscious mind and became one with the movement, and all his doubt dissolved away. Ari would beat him if he didn’t finish this quickly. He let his training look for that one opening where he could get a strong backfist to her temple and end it, but as seconds turned to a full minute he realized he wasn’t going to get it. Ari landed a solid blow to Richter’s ribs and he staggered back, wheezing.
Every ounce of combat training Richter had ever received was screaming at him to pick up the knife that was just a couple of feet from him. First in the Marines and then in the CIA, the idea of fighting fair had been as alien as the corpses lying in the corridor. Richter didn’t want Ari to win, and he had no doubt that she would kill him if that happened. He just couldn’t get himself to grab the blade and end it. Ari had managed to grab ahold of his pride with a tightness Richter couldn’t believe.

This is late in the novel, so by now you are well familiar with the characters described. Hopefully most readers will find this more interesting than a ringside announcer's narrative.

 

[Nightcrawler]

Devonai, that was good!

I'm not really looking to become a full-time writer now, or ever, actually. Frankly, it's too hard to make a living as a writer these days, and I'd rather just dabble and have the support of a steady job to put groceries on the table.

At this stage, it's more of a hobby.

Just for grins (and because I never liked it), I'm re-writing the ending to my original story. Yes, like George Lucas, I'm significantly changing my original work to make it compatible with later works. I've got a good idea for a sequel, though I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it. I just feel my character needs closure.

At this stage, I don't know if I'd have the patience to get around to writing a full-length novel.

But in the mean time, I can write strange short stories with horribly depressing plotlines and awful endings, call it art, and get it published in a college textbook to torture Lit students for the next 20 years. If you don't know what I'm talking about, read a little diddy called Hunters in the Snow and another called Where are you going, where have you been?. (Damn you, Joyce Carol Oates!)

 

[Topgun]

SOCK!
Oooff!!
WHAP!
Unnngghhh!
Why, you......
Oh yeah?
YEAH, BAM BAM BAM
Aiyeee.... PLOP!
What? Wrong guy? You kiddin me? BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM
Idiot!

....strolls away

 

[Taurus 66]

SOCK!
Oooff!!
WHAP!
Unnngghhh!
Why, you......
Oh yeah?
YEAH, BAM BAM BAM
Aiyeee.... PLOP!
What? Wrong guy? You kiddin me? BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM
Idiot!

How about this:

SOCK!
Oooff!!
WHAP!
Unnngghhh!
Hey Moe?!
Why, you......
nyuk nyuk nyuk......
Woob woob woob wooob......
BOINK!
Oh yeah?
Oh, Wiseguy!
YEAH, BAM BAM BAM
Aiyeee.... PLOP!
What? Wrong guy? You kiddin me? BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM
Idiot!
Holy **** ****** Batman!!!

 

[fiVe]

I like writing fiction. I mean, my previously famous, now-forgotten story was so fun to write I'm suprised it wasn't illegal. And not just because it was a bunch of self-aggrandizing, either. It was fun because I just had fun with it, you know?

NOW-FORGOTTEN??? I beg to GREATLY differ here, NG. Your writing is good stuff, and good stuff is not forgotten. And yes, we knew you had fun with it, because it was so fun to read. I'm no expert on writing, but I don't think you should change your writing style. The only thing left to say is: More Please!! BTW, how is Ling faring in California?


Excitedly waiting...

fiVe

 

[TallPine]

I dunno ... I tried it once and IIRC it took several pages to describe a few seconds of action. This was a combination gun-fight and "improvised weapon" fight. Some of the gun fight was outside of the viewpoint character's vision and therefore only described by sound.

You'll have to ask Oleg how well I did, since he is the only one here who has read it.

I was going to self publish the novel but so far have not had the nerve to go ahead with it ... plus I am still trying to come up with a decent title (and a pen name).

 

[Dr.Rob]

Short declaritive sentences help.

Try reading James Elroy's opening for The Cold Six Thousand... as if Dr. Seuss wrote noir.

The action is fast, descriptive and lush.You should not only see it, but feel it, taste it, smell it. And people (even the hero) should miss sometimes. Vintage James Bond (Fleming not Gardner) does action very well, sometimes less is more.

Just my 2 cents. I get paid for 'entertainment writing' not fiction.

 

[tellner]

Try Steve Perry's stuff. His Matador series ("The Man Who Never Missed", "Matadora" and others) has excellent fight scenes, armed and unarmed. Same with the Tom Clancy NetForce books, which Steve also wrote.

 

[Rexrider]

The writing comes easy for me, sometimes. Often, it's creating a halfway-decent story that's the hard part. The aforementioned story was in many ways a cop-out. By writing about myself in my own location, I avoided having to create a setting (mostly) and a lot of character creation.

Not a cop-out by any means. You had to start somewhere and you went with what you knew. I am sure most writers use familiar locations and personalities to give them a start. Why "invent" something/someone that already exists?

Look at Steven King. Maine must have made quiet an impression on him. Considering how many of his stories take place there. Come to think of it, if King's stories were non-fiction, we would have had to nuke Maine from orbit by now (...just to be sure).

I like writing fiction. I mean, my previously famous, now-forgotten story was so fun to write I'm suprised it wasn't illegal. And not just because it was a bunch of self-aggrandizing, either. It was fun because I just had fun with it, you know?

For the record, the story was not forgotten. Also, as with most things in life, having fun with it will almost always provide the best results.

Anyway, I am looking forward to your next story whatever it may be. Although you are always welcome to continue in the adventures of Nightcrawler. You won't get any complaints from me.

 

[NMshooter]

Has Dashiell Hammett been forgotten?

About as streamlined as you can get, try reading Red Harvest if you have not already read it.

David Drake does a good job, with a bit more detail, but things still flow along fine.

Just a couple off the top of my head.

 

[Standing Wolf]

If you think gun fights are hard to write, try a love scene.

 

[KriegHund]

Wow, lots of us are aspiring novelists...

I have about 20 pages of a story- that started as one thing and turned into 5 different others before i came up with a semi-solid plot.

I think its rather original plot, actually. Back to the point.

Heres a small portion, the only real action scene yet. Sorry for the formating, but it gets all fubar-ed when copied...

Here they come. We’re ????ed thought Draig as he heard Corporal Ilvonich yell, “Prepare yourselves men!” A second later the log barring the door cracked slightly. “Open the ga-“ The Corporals last command was cut short when two arrows were embedded in him. One landed in his shoulder, the other through the back of his throat. A third whistled past Draig’s head. Dark red blood ran down the corporals shining maille, flowing between the rings. The corporal pitched forward on his knees, his helmet struck the wood and made a dull clanking noise just as the gate cracked open. The man above it poured the contents of the cauldron on the first man to come in and tossed the torch on him. He burst into flames and let out a blood-curdling yell as he swung his sword wildly to the left, slashing the man across from Draig on the stomach. The flaming soldier’s victim fell backwards and a bit of his innards oozed out, and strange intestinal fluids came out in a stream from the cut intestine and formed a puddle in the dirt. The man struggled to get up, but the flaming enemy soldier fell on top of him, as rolled over on his back he stumbled up yet again, let out one last yell and charged blindly forward, landing in a bale of grain, which immediately burst into flames. The sour smell of burned flesh and the smell of burning grain mixed and flowed into Draigs nostrils, almost making him gag. Another enemy soldier armed with a broadsword charged through the gate, immediately followed by the officer and six more. The rest of the fort’s garrison of three men jumped in and surrounded the enemy. Draig stumbled backwards as a sword slashed inches from his face. Draig immediately lunged forward, sword pointed out, and speared the man in front of him. The impaled man made a desperate attempt to kill Draig, but his futile blow slid off his mailled arm and the soldiers sword fell to the ground. Pulling his sword out of the mans stomach, Draig was amazed at his destructive powers. His sword had left a slice in the mans leather armor and blood poured out, glistening like a dark ruby in the sun, and falling to the earth like rain, so much of it there was. Damned if I’ll ever complain that my sword isn’t sharp enough! He held up his sword and slashed at the man next to him, who was engaged in the process of driving his sword through one of his comrade’s skull. Draig's sword hit the mans helm, bounced off and struck the his kneecap, slicing it clean of. The soldier's leg buckled backwards under him, and clean white bone protruded out of where the mans kneecap used to be. The man attempted to stand up, and what skin that was left covering his broken bone split as Draig’s sword sliced it away, revealing a long white pink shin bone. The split flesh flayed open like a butterfly’s wing and Draig delivered a final blow, quickly plunging his sword into the mans stomach, piercing his scale armor.

 

[wolf_from_wv]

Yes, they are hard to write. Like when you are being pursued by two guys in a car with Skorpian machine pistols, go around a curve, almost run into a tree that was blasted down across the road, and get pinned down by a sniper in the woods. THEN, add in the angels and demons...

I've been told it's pretty interesting so far, and to make sure I send future installments by a couple people I know.

 

[Devonai]

KriegHund, it sounds exciting. Is this the first time Draig's been in combat, or the first combat sequence in the story? In my humble opinion, if you're going to have that level of detail (especially where carnage is concerned) it will make sense if it's a first but may lose it's punch later on.

As I mentioned before, my first novel had that level of detail, substituting bullets for blades. My family and friends told me they skimmed over the combat sections, looking for dialogue as a stepping-stone to actually forward the plot. My mom and sister were especially frustrated as they really liked my characters but found the combat sequences entirely unfathomable.

Nightcrawler, thanks for the compliment. My first three novels (including Reckless Faith) were written during third shift security gigs. I estimate I was paid about $1000 to write each book, if unwittingly. The Tarantula Nebula, the sequel to Reckless Faith was a different story. I had a day job, and I had to literally cancel my cable TV service in order to write it.

 

[psyopspec]

You're certainly on the right track Nightcrawler. RE Qatar, I know how you felt. During my time overseas I kept my parents busy recieving my online orders from amazon and BN.com and shipping them to me. I think access to literature kept from going (more insane).

If you'd like more inspiration, check out Run by Douglas E. Winter. Only action novel I've ever read that caused me to physically sweat through most of it, including Clancy, Fleming, et al. Under the right circumstances, if it ever becomes a movie it'll easily be one of the best thrillers of all time.

 

[BigG]

To All Aspiring Writers:

Just one tip, but a big one: Don't copy Ayn Rand for style - she hasn't got any!

 

[MudPuppy]

I try to keep the descriptions short and have the goal of letting the reading fill in whats missing. If I try to micromanage the pacing, I find it impossible to match the adrenaline and speed of a real encounter. I try to make the introduction of the reader's imagination to the story that I'm providing.

John struck with the speed and fury of a tornado. Without hesitation John’s right hand flashed to the barrel of the assault rifle, spinning on the ball of his right foot as he did so and twisting the barrel away from his body. The gun blasted once, shattering the still night, the bullet passing well to the left of John and harmlessly striking the wall.
John continued the assault, forcefully pulling the rifle to him, the dangerous muzzle now well past him and tucked under his left arm. With his left hand the mercenary quickly grabbed the body of the rifle, the other man struggling with a death grip of both hands just to keep John from taking the weapon away from him. John had no such intention, however, and was in fact hoping that the other man would do exactly as he did and focus on keeping control of the rifle. For while the other man had both hands busy with the weapon, John punched him in the side of the head with his right fist, repeatedly and brutally.
The assailant wobbled, his legs uncertain as he was stunned by the continued onslaught of the vicious blows. John recognized this instantly and pivoted his right hip into the man’s groin, pulling and lifting the man off his feet, only to be deposited onto the floor with a thump, skidding backwards on his tailbone, in something similar to a sitting position.
John now had sole possession of the rifle and smashed the butt hard across the sitting man’s face, his nose and mouth spouting crimson as he reeled away from the force of the blow.
Breathing heavily, John snapped back to his senses. He realized that he needed to make his escape quickly and efficiently, the crack of the rifle round sure to have alerted neighbors.
Damn, John thought as he shouldered the assault rifle, It was such a great speech I had planned.
He fired off three quick taps into the face of the bloodied man, then turned to the director who was retreating, backpedaling and begging for his life as he clutched his arm.
Without further emotion, John fired twice into his chest, dropping him to the floor. John quickly stepped over, and standing over him, straddling him, fired three more rounds into the dead man’s head.

Regardless, you provide great stuff. Keep at it.

 

[Carl]

When I write a conflict on paper, I try to get as many actions in one sentence as possible. For instance, a man tries to stab another, but the other man blocks and elbows him in the face. Let's see how I can make this sound fast paced.

He arches forward with the blade in his hand, stopping dead in his tracks as my elbow smashes against his chin; the blade falls to our feet.

Now I'm no pro writer, but as being half asleep as I am now, that's the best I'd be able to do. I hope I helped.

 

[thereisnospoon]

Aspiring Novelists Unite!

I, too, have been working on a story since the October Debates between Bush and Kerry. The story came to me while they were discussing the question of the AWB. In a flash the whole story was right there.

4 years later, I am still trying to get it all on paper, in a coherent order and with few spelling mistakes as possible.

The story has mutated a bit, but not much from the original idea and I still use the idea from the Debate as the catalyst for the story...

Tiime will tell...