Have you ever dated an anti? How'd it go?

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On a first date I learned her father and brother hunted and fished and that she was raised on quail shot over a brace of English Setters. We are nearing our 46th wedding anniversary.
 
I have, though not recently (I've been married 7 years). My wife is VERY pro 2a thankfully. When I was still in the dating scene, the biggest problem I had with someone being an anti wasn't the fact that they didn't like guns, it was that there was most likely much larger fundamental differences between us. Most likely we didn't have similar political views and in some cases our social views would be different as well. You usually hangout with people that are similar to you, so in most cases that would mean that our friends would have nothing in common. Not that any of this is bad, a lot of times opposite attract. In my case it just wouldn't work out. Physical attraction is a big part of starting a relationship but a lot of other things have to fall in place to sustain one.
 
Refreshing to read that many here value love over RKBA.

Would you really like to live in a world, where everyone has to be like yourself?



America is too divided. That is done by one individual at a time.
From both sides.
 
Flintknapper nailed it.

"Love" is overrated and often highly debated as to what it actually is...

Statistics have shown over the last 40 years or so that couples with the MOST in common, especially core values, have a greater chance of happiness and an enduring marriage.


M
 
Shaq said:
Let's say more gun control & restrictions would have prevented Adam Lanza from buying guns. His stupid mother bought him guns.
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I'm really tired of this victim blaming. Blame the 20 year old adult who killed his mother for her guns. He was an honors student who went to college at 16 not a bloody force of nature.

Mike
 
Mp7 said:
Refreshing to read that many here value love over RKBA.

Would you really like to live in a world, where everyone has to be like yourself?



America is too divided. That is done by one individual at a time.
From both sides.
Click to expand...
Thats not the problem. A marriage or long term relationship is financial as well as emotional. If I go dragging $10K year worth of guns a year home, as Ive been know to do, and the significant other is dead set against it, what do you think the eventual outcome will be even if I can afford it. My dad used to tell me "You can have whatever you can afford " when I asked him for ANYTHING when I was a kid. It was his way of saying NO but it stuck with me. Now I buy whatever it is I can afford . That frame of thought has pushed me into more lucrative jobs over the years so that I could afford more expensive things ( guns ) , maintain adequate savings and provide for the family in a pretty significant way . Having a rabid anti gunner as a wife wouldnt be a situation that either of us could deal with for long. Something would have to give. My wife isnt a gun lover but she sure isnt a gun hater. Her "pffft" is a lot better than "over my dead body" and has kept a marriage alive for almost 20 years.
 
Refreshing to read that many here value love over RKBA.

Would you really like to live in a world, where everyone has to be like yourself?

America is too divided. That is done by one individual at a time.
From both sides.
Click to expand...

I caught an interview with Susan Jacoby the other day, about her book Strange Gods: A Secular History of Conversion, and something from that interview seemed really apropos, here.

The host was asking about faith and marriage, and family, and rather insistently wanted Ms. Jacoby to answer how she would have worked out a situation wherein she fell in love with a man of deep religious faith? What would she do if she truly loved a man who was convicted in his beliefs in something that she could not possibly accept as true?

Her reply was, I think, really very on-point for this discussion we're having. She said she simply could not imagine how she could come to love a person who was so fundamentally different, who thought so fundamentally differently than she did, and who valued things that were so far apart from what she holds dear. She said she could accept that this might be a "failure of imagination" on her part, but she couldn't formulate a scenario in her mind wherein she'd be able to build and maintain the life-partnering emotional and psychological bonding of herself to someone who's mind and who's most important values were so foundationally different.



Perhaps that speaks a lot to the difference in how (some) men and women perceive "love." Whether it is something in the brain or something in the pants, so to speak, but all folks, especially those who are young and on their first "go-round", need to try and grasp the vast difference between the initial blush of attraction and what love is, must be, and must become through a lifetime.


It may be that many here do "value love over RKBA." But it may also be true that many are simply willing to let their hormones have free reign and make a hash of things (for better or worse) early on, and then have to live onward to sort out the frustrations and minor tragedies of being entangled with an objet d'amour who is substantively poison to your own values and self.

Something around 45% of marriages in the US end in divorce. That's not a real positive track record for all those who "value[d] love over [whatever is deeply important to you]."
 
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No, but I have antigun family members. I don't talk to them much.

I'm currently dating a gal who is pretty liberal, but likes shooting and guns in general. She favors AR15's and really likes my VP9.

Guess she's middle of the road.
 
Many years ago I dated a redhead from long island ny.....she was indoctrinated....to be anti-gun....but having spent time in texas...she was debrainwashed.....and the fact she hated wearing clothes....made her a little more tolerable
 
If you mean dated "consistently," no. If you mean have you ever dated a girl who was anti-guns, yes.

Before I was married, I lived in Los Angeles for many years. There were a lot of very pretty, single girls in my racket, show business. If I made a date with a girl, I'd always take her to a nice restaurant, and sometime during dinner, I'd casually work into the conversation that I was a hunter and gun owner. Ordinarily the intro would have something to do with the dinner and how I also liked the taste of wild game.

If the girl recoiled at that, "hunter and gun owner," I'd not date her again. It was not worth it to me to waste time trying to change hard wired minds. One night in the sack was just that; a night in the sack.

My wife of 39½ years knew nothing about guns and hunting, but was not offended by my hunting hobby and gun ownership. Today, she owns two of her own handguns, believes 100% in the Second Amendment, the Right of Self Defense, and hunting. She shoots enough to keep her skill level up, and although not a hunter, enjoys thoroughly the wild game I bring home.

She had many other laudable attributes and not being "anti-guns" was just one of them. :D

L.W.
 
No, but I once tried. The council of the adjoining county had a gun ban proposal hearing and I went to lend support to the opponents. The two groups had congregated on opposite sides of the room, so one's position was no secret. In the course of the hearing, a very pretty young lady spoke for the anti-gun faction. She seemed to present a relatively reasonable position, and wore no ring. Being single at the time and, I thought, fairly presentable, I approached her after the hearing with thoughts of continuing the discussion in more, well, intimate circumstances. For some reason, I phrased my question to the effect of "On gun control, what would make you happy?"

Her pretty face contorted with hate and she replied, "I won't be happy until every one of you gun crazies is shot down in the streets and the gutters run with your blood!"

For some reason, my thoughts of a candlelight dinner went away. Along with the idea that a pretty face means love and kindness.

Jim
 
Having moved to RI from VT, two out of the three women I've dated since I moved were unfamiliar with guns, and the one I'm currently dating started out as leaning towards anti-gun.

I find that for most people here it is an ignorance thing; they don't know anything about guns other than what the media tells them. My current girlfriend is very highly intelligent, and after just a few polite discussions she came around to the idea that guns aren't bad at all. Since then we've gone shooting together several times.


This is slightly off topic but I find it interesting: I'm going to school with students that are on average about eight years younger than me. Most of them are engineering students like myself and have no experience with guns, and also are from areas that are generally anti-gun, but they themselves are not anti-gun. Many, if not most, have expressed interest in learning to shoot when I bring it up.

I think my generation and younger ("millenials") have grown up in a world where we have learned to take what the mainstream media says with a grain of salt. We don't necessarily trust what our celebrities, our news, or our government says, and are more willing to do our own research and form our own opinions. I think this is a good sign for the future of the 2A and all other rights in this country.
 
Ranger Roberts said:
I have, though not recently (I've been married 7 years). My wife is VERY pro 2a thankfully. When I was still in the dating scene, the biggest problem I had with someone being an anti wasn't the fact that they didn't like guns, it was that there was most likely much larger fundamental differences between us. Most likely we didn't have similar political views and in some cases our social views would be different as well. You usually hangout with people that are similar to you, so in most cases that would mean that our friends would have nothing in common. Not that any of this is bad, a lot of times opposite attract. In my case it just wouldn't work out. Physical attraction is a big part of starting a relationship but a lot of other things have to fall in place to sustain one.
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I agree with you on just about everything you said, however note that opposites who are attracted to other each have something the other is missing and needs almost all the time in essence they compliment each other.

If these opposite traits are not complimentary then you have fundamentally opposing traits and conflict will result.

It's a recipe for disaster depending on how dearly each other holds their opposing values.

No I have never dated an anti gun fanatic.
 
Refreshing to read that many here value love over RKBA.

Would you really like to live in a world, where everyone has to be like yourself?
Click to expand...
It's not about choosing someone like yourself, just someone who respects you enough to let you be yourself.

A fence-sitter or someone who personally dislikes guns, but respects the choices of others to own them? No problem. But someone idealogically committed to the idea that you need to be disarmed, by force if need be? How could that ever be an emotionally healthy relationship?
 
When I met my wife she was a mild anti. She had been held up at gunpoint a couple of years prior. I spent several hours training her on a 9mm S&W and then her to the range. Prior to our kids, she would spot for me on the range and then decided she wanted to shoot my 7mm Rem Mag. She drilled it.

She got attached to my 41 Mag Ruger Redhawk and loves to shoot it on girl's night with her friends at the range. She is a 6'4" daughter of a WWII German Fallshirmjager and is pretty intimidating with it.

She is pro-gun now and we raised our kids to use firearms.
 
Since my divorce in 2004 I'm strictly a catch and release kinda guy. I nearly had a bad experience about three years ago when I didn't broach the subject early and went on a date unarmed rather than have her discover it by brushing up against it or while hugging. Since then I broach the topic early and if they are not pro-2a I move on fast.
 
Mp7 said:
Refreshing to read that many here value love over RKBA.

Would you really like to live in a world, where everyone has to be like yourself?



America is too divided. That is done by one individual at a time.
From both sides.
Click to expand...

*sigh* While I'm tempted to let this pass obviously I decided not to. There is an old saying in cattle country that if you marry in haste you can regret in leisure. While love is a wonderful thing just because you love someone doesn't mean you can get along with them or for that matter even like them.

Since you are on a site dedicated to the RKBA you are going to get a large segment of people that idea is important to. Important enough to some to be a deal breaker in a relationship. No two people are going to be exactly alike, that's a given. The trick is to find enough commonalities to be able to come to an understanding and appreciation.

In the case of the "anti" I dated, that particular facet wasn't the deal breaker as much as his idea that I somehow "owed" him certain things for the rather dubious privilege of his company. He was also mud crack stupid enough to think he could date my best friend and not think we would compare notes. When two women get together and realize the guy that told them he would only love her turned out to be the same guy it tends to put a damper on the romance of the moment. If not for Sister Beatrice telling us nice Catholic girls don't go around stuffing boys into drain tiles that breakup probably would have made the newspapers.

When I met my hubby he was ambivalent on the idea of civilian ownership. He accepted my ownership as family mementos and it simply wasn't an item of consideration to him. We fell in love from a variety of shared experiences that very few had to do with firearms. I won't say that if there had been friction on the subject we wouldn't be together because I simply do not know. Since my brother and I infected him with the love of hunting and meals of venison it's a moot point now.
 
THE DRILL INSTRUCTOR said:
Having moved to RI from VT, two out of the three women I've dated since I moved were unfamiliar with guns, and the one I'm currently dating started out as leaning towards anti-gun.

I find that for most people here it is an ignorance thing; they don't know anything about guns other than what the media tells them. My current girlfriend is very highly intelligent, and after just a few polite discussions she came around to the idea that guns aren't bad at all. Since then we've gone shooting together several times.


This is slightly off topic but I find it interesting: I'm going to school with students that are on average about eight years younger than me. Most of them are engineering students like myself and have no experience with guns, and also are from areas that are generally anti-gun, but they themselves are not anti-gun. Many, if not most, have expressed interest in learning to shoot when I bring it up.

I think my generation and younger ("millenials") have grown up in a world where we have learned to take what the mainstream media says with a grain of salt. We don't necessarily trust what our celebrities, our news, or our government says, and are more willing to do our own research and form our own opinions. I think this is a good sign for the future of the 2A and all other rights in this country.
Click to expand...
I see that you call the Northeast Kingdom home.
I would be surprised to hear that people in the NEK would not be familliar with firearms.
I would say that most NEK residents are very familiar with firearms.
You should checkout the Green Mountain Boys machine gun shoot which will be taking place July 15th-16th in Eden Vt.
 
During college I briefly dated a vegan girl who didn't like guns, while at the same time I built my first AR and worked part time in a slaughterhouse. For dating it was not a big deal, but since then I have decided to only pursue women with whom I could have a hope of it working long term.
My brother has married a staunchly anti-gun woman and what I have seen from that has only made me more insistent that any woman I would pursue at least open to civilian ownership of defensive firearms.
 
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