How do you handle people who stare you down?

[Good&Fruity]

So I'm at the gas station with my gf, and this fat Mexican "kid" drives around us and gives me the evil eye like he's some bad bandito. I'm open carrying, and he didn't see it until he got out of the car to pump gas.

He comments on my gun saying something like 'you got that strap'. My response was "what about it?". He goes, "it makes you feel big huh?"

The thought going through my head was that it's the other way around; if this fat kid wasn't trying to be some hard core pretend gangster, he wouldn't be mean mugging people. In this case he later learned he was outgunned, literally. Seriously, what gangster doesn't even have a gun or a knife?

I just told him to keep running his mouth, which he decided not to...

Probably not the smartest thing for me to say, but I'm not interested in bowing down to bullies who are really cowards.

 

[stonecutter2]

It seems totally illogical to talk smack to someone that's open carrying. I question that person's state of mind overall.

People feel threatened by guns sometimes, and act in weird ways.

 

[USAF_Vet]

You shoulda just told him "No hablo English" and left it at that.

This is just a fact of open carry. Morons try to goad you into doing something with it, knowing you likely won't, so they can continue to mock you afterwards.

99% of the time, IME, the 'bullies' are simply hamming it up for the friends, acting like the Billy B.A. they only wish they could be. The real bad boys I've come across in my life don't mince words.

 

[Good&Fruity]

Nor do they start trouble for that matter. I wonder if these clowns realize how stupid they look. They dress like thugs with their workout shorts sagging from their butts, shoes untied, hat turned sideways. How do you carry your weapon? Oh, that's right, you don't....lol I'm going to start calling them Beverly Hills Gangsters...

 

[NavyLCDR]

I thought he was supposed to shoot you first and take your gun? I'm confused....

 

[ByAnyMeans]

While I love the "no hablo english" I would not of thought to say that. I probably would have just given him a blank stare when he asked about my "strap" and said "if you think so" when he asked about it making me "feel big".

 

[robMaine]

If I am carrying I do everything I can to avoid confrontation, I would probably have given in and let him be the tough guy. I don't need to encourage a dispute that could lead to me having to use my firearm.

When I am not carrying however, I stare right back, and if that doesn't work, start walking towards them. They usually back down, it helps that I am not a small guy and I am an MMA fighter so I am not scared of a little scrap; I think bullies can detect this.

 

[Mudinyeri]

I probably said something to the effect of, "Not as big as your eating habits appear to make you." But then, he probably wouldn't have gotten that until later when he was sitting in front of the TV with a bag of Doritos on his belly and a Mountain Dew in his hand.

 

[strmday]

Seems to be a cultural or age thing. I was taught that it is rude to stare at people. I first noticed this when I got a job on the white trash side of town. I'd pass some " gangstas" in my car and they would make eye contact. If you didn't look away, they took it as a challenge and flipped the bird or yelled something.
I'm not in the mood to challenge these <deleted> anymore so I generally look them in the eye so they know I'm aware of them then I go back to what I was doing... Driving, walking, pumping gas, etc. I stay aware, I just don't stare back. I don't feel the need to " save face" with real or wanna be gangstas.

 

[Shawn Dodson]

It seems totally illogical to talk smack to someone that's open carrying. I question that person's state of mind overall.

There are plenty of irrational people in public - drunk, drugged, and mentals - who don't react as a rational person would. Open carry may actually attract them to you. If you're forced to confront them at gunpoint they may not appreciate the danger to themselves.

Yes, there are gangbangers who'll harass, taunt and menace you just for kicks and giggles - knowing full well that, as a law abiding citizen, you're going to play by the rules and be at a disadvantage when they mock you or goad you into over-reacting.

 

[ball3006]

I am an old guy but I am a 6ft, 250 lb powerlifter. I don't get to experience a stare down much, if at all. However, I am aware of where I am and my surroundings at all times......and, I very rarely go out after dark....chris3

 

[Sam1911]

Open carry may actually attract them to you.

Unfortunately, this is absolutely a possibility. ANYTHING out of the ordinary might cause you to hit the radar of a bad guy, or some member of a certain community who is looking to appear to be a big man on his block.

Could be your Rolex. Could be your Jesus t-shirt. Could be your Yankees hat, or your bright red sneakers. Could be your Lexus, or your old Chevy with nice rims. Could be your race, your sex, or simply the oddity of a person "like you" being in that place at that time.

Objects or characteristics of distinction can be triggers for some kinds of unpleasant behavior -- some really dangerous, some just scary.

Each person has to decide how much they desire to, or are willing to, make themselves stand out from the herd, and in what situations. And it would be best to make that decision consciously, and before the fact.

 

[CoRoMo]

...saying something like 'you got that strap'.

I don't have a tendency to reply to comments like that. Stupid should be ignored, but I understand that it is hard to turn on that posture when we're out in public, trying to be decent, tolerant, and polite people.

 

[HOOfan_1]

I don't have a tendency to reply to comments like that. Stupid should be ignored,

agreed. Pretend that they are not there, or just simply smile and nod. I am sure ignoring some of them will only provoke them. No way to know how they are going to react, but smiling and nodding seems to help shorten unecessary conversations.

 

[Good&Fruity]

The jokes about his weight and his mom saying I'm big are good. Sadly, I think jokes about his mom or his gf who was also with him might have provoked him.

 

[MtnCreek]

I know this sounds crazy, but I ask them for a dollar. The typical responce is 'What". Then I ask if they have any spare change. The most I've ever got out of anyone was a 'what da bleepity, bleep' then they walk away.

 

[Kleanbore]

The jokes about his weight and his mom saying I'm big are good.

????

See this and heed it.

If you do anything to provoke the man and things go downhill, you will be in a world of hurt.

 

[Mike1234567]

I treat people like that as I do forum trolls... ignore them... but watch out of the corner of my eye.

ETA: Per the post immediately above. I'd expect that escalating the situation, especially if it can be misconstrued that you were flashing your firearm, would be likened to participating in road rage. That's not a good thing.

 

[Sam1911]

I'd expect that escalating the situation ... That's not a good thing.

Indeed! I wrote this a while back and it applies here:

Something else to consider ... in a great many instances, anything you do to escalate a situation from a mere unpleasantness into a lethal force encounter can be seriously detrimental to you in court.

Tom Givens recently published a DVD of self defense accounts involving some of his students. One of those "victims" thought he had done very well by shooting two men of a gang chasing him, and scaring off the rest. But the DA pressed charges, as the "victim" had confronted the group, thus instigating the event. While nothing he did to them was illegal, and their pursuit and threat to him definitely were illegal, he faced a serious criminal charge because his CHOICE to act was a deciding factor in the deaths of those two men. (IIRC, his lawyer got him 2 year's probation or similar, instead of hard time.)

 

[buck460XVR]

I just told him to keep running his mouth, which he decided not to...

Probably not the smartest thing for me to say, but I'm not interested in bowing down to bullies who are really cowards.

So you lowered yourself to his level because you felt safe with a gun on your hip? Sorry, but if the guy wanted to be a jerk, then let him, the high road woulda been to keep your mouth shut and go about your business. The low road is to escalate the situation, talk smack back cause you think you have the upper hand on him because you are armed, and then to go online and make fun of his weight and ethnic origin.

 

[ShaiVong]

The thought going through my head was that it's the other way around; if this fat kid wasn't trying to be some hard core pretend gangster, he wouldn't be mean mugging people. In this case he later learned he was outgunned, literally. Seriously, what gangster doesn't even have a gun or a knife?

Uh; you know he was a criminal? Being a punk != being a mugger.

 

[788Ham]

I feel its best to just smile at them and continue to walk on. I was in the Navy back in '68 in San Francisco, in dress blues while traveling home on leave. It seemed every hippie in the US was in 'Frisco at that time, all shouting "baby killer" and some things I can't write here, spitting at you, etc. All one can do is just accept the puke's words and remember, this is one of the freedoms I was serving to uphold, the freedom of speech. This is a carryover to the statements and verbiage posted above mine, let it roll off your back, do we need to stoop to their style of life and ignorance? The right to carry is a right, its not a gift, protect that right by not engaging oneself with someone whose ignorance is plenty obvious from the outset, let alone allowing oneself to move beyond that point and pulling the firearm. JMHO.

 

[two gun charlie]

In south africa few days go by that I don't get the exact same problem , most days I just don't make eye contact and pretend I don't notice them (while always keeping them in sight just incase they make a move) Here you won't find many people carrying openly because it makes you a target , stolen guns are hot commodities. Some days I give as good as I get when it comes to staring and having attitude , but that is usually just when I had a bad day , and it is definately not the smart move.
Always remember that those idiots have a lot less to lose than you do when things turn ugly , ignore them. But never act weak.

 

[Nushif]

Uh; you know he was a criminal? Being a punk != being a mugger.

Well, he did look different and acted in a way we didn't like ... we can assume criminal intent, right? I see what you're saying for sure, I always love these descriptions ... unless the person used 'Sir' three times per sentence, tucked in his shirt and his pants were at least at bellybutton height clearly they're criminals, right?

He was a punk, and he did have attitude. I could come up with a bunch of choice words for his behavior, too, but that doesn't mean he needs to be judged as a potential criminal.

As to what I do with people like that ... I don't often get that kind of guff. I think a lot of it is how one carries oneself. Of course it happens once in a while, but generally a short look and a smirk, followed by going back to my business at hand solves this kind of stuff.

 

[Fred Fuller]

None of the E's in ADEE stand for "Escalate."

lpl