Online Fiction
- Thread starter Halffast
- Start date
- Status
P95Carry
Moderator Emeritus
Yee-haw - kudos David.
(now to wait patiently for Obi' to slip by with the PDF??
(now to wait patiently for Obi' to slip by with the PDF??
Bill St. Clair
Member
Yipeeeee!!!!
P95Carry
Moderator Emeritus
Haha - good on ya Obi' ... my thanks yet again!
I can only offer you a ''cyber beer''
I can only offer you a ''cyber beer''
Headless Thompson Gunner
Member
Whoa... 
WOW!
My guess is this is sort of how many folks have imagined how "society" would rapidly fall apart after a real SHTF event.
p.s. buy ammo, food & water. and store a small generator in your basement, covered with a well-grounded metal shield.
My guess is this is sort of how many folks have imagined how "society" would rapidly fall apart after a real SHTF event.
p.s. buy ammo, food & water. and store a small generator in your basement, covered with a well-grounded metal shield.
Fly320s
Member
2 week bump.
MudPuppy
Member
starting to get the shakes....
I know you can't rush quality work, but I'm starting to go into withdrawl here.
I know you can't rush quality work, but I'm starting to go into withdrawl here.
I finally found you!
Hello Mr. Halffast.
I am so glad I finally find you. About a week ago I stumbled across the site Frugal Squirrel. While looking around I found something new to me.. Survivalist Fiction. I downloaded and read what was on the site and I was totally hooked on a story called Lights Out, I couldn't put the story down. I stayed up half the night reading and just got through the shootout in front of Silver Hills, Mark was getting sick... end of page... the story ended.. that was it.. I went back to the website and there were no more pdf's... "that can't be the end of the story ...can it? .. I couldn't believe it.
I went back online and searched and searched for anything that might be "Survivalist Fiction" with no luck at all.
I stewed about this for a couple of days, I just couldn't get this story out of my mind. I decided to go back to Frugal Squirrel and write the webmaster a letter and ask him if he knew more about the story, the author or where I might be able to find more stories like this one. It didn't take 5 minutes for the letter to come back to me.. the email addy didn't work at Frugal Squirrel. I went back and searched the site over trying to find a valid email addy..nothing.
...again I tried to just put the story out of my mind.. but couldn't. The next day I went back and opened up the story got your name and did a search on the internet for "halffast Survival Fiction" and that is how I was able to find this message board. I read through the message board until I found a link that lead me to what I think is the rest of the story. I'm now on pdf 50 page 38.
I'm sorry if this sounds like just rambling but I wanted to let you know how wonderful I think this story is... I was hooked on your story from the moment I "picked up" the book. I just couldn't let the story go and I had to keep looking until I found out what happened to the characters.
Please do what ever you can to get this story published. I know that it will be a huge hit and please keep us posted on your next book, I want to read EVERYTHING you ever write :0) I will not be letting this message board out of my site
Thanks so much for sharing your talent with us.
Judith/JC1035
MSN messenger - JUDITH/JC1035
Hello Mr. Halffast.
I am so glad I finally find you. About a week ago I stumbled across the site Frugal Squirrel. While looking around I found something new to me.. Survivalist Fiction. I downloaded and read what was on the site and I was totally hooked on a story called Lights Out, I couldn't put the story down. I stayed up half the night reading and just got through the shootout in front of Silver Hills, Mark was getting sick... end of page... the story ended.. that was it.. I went back to the website and there were no more pdf's... "that can't be the end of the story ...can it? .. I couldn't believe it.
I went back online and searched and searched for anything that might be "Survivalist Fiction" with no luck at all.
I stewed about this for a couple of days, I just couldn't get this story out of my mind. I decided to go back to Frugal Squirrel and write the webmaster a letter and ask him if he knew more about the story, the author or where I might be able to find more stories like this one. It didn't take 5 minutes for the letter to come back to me.. the email addy didn't work at Frugal Squirrel. I went back and searched the site over trying to find a valid email addy..nothing.
...again I tried to just put the story out of my mind.. but couldn't. The next day I went back and opened up the story got your name and did a search on the internet for "halffast Survival Fiction" and that is how I was able to find this message board. I read through the message board until I found a link that lead me to what I think is the rest of the story. I'm now on pdf 50 page 38.
I'm sorry if this sounds like just rambling but I wanted to let you know how wonderful I think this story is... I was hooked on your story from the moment I "picked up" the book. I just couldn't let the story go and I had to keep looking until I found out what happened to the characters.
Please do what ever you can to get this story published. I know that it will be a huge hit and please keep us posted on your next book, I want to read EVERYTHING you ever write :0) I will not be letting this message board out of my site
Thanks so much for sharing your talent with us.
Judith/JC1035
MSN messenger - JUDITH/JC1035
P95Carry
Moderator Emeritus
Welcome Judith!
So - another one is hooked David .... your fan base is growing!! Kudos.
So - another one is hooked David .... your fan base is growing!! Kudos.
shooten
Member
I have to jump in here too. Awesome novel. I could not stop reading it. I can't wait to read more. You have talent. You should change your name to fullast. Seriously, let us all know when you write more.
Scott
Seriously, let us all know when you write more.Scott
Moondoggie
Member
Great story, Halffast!
I started reading it last nite when I found this thread, read until 4:00 AM, and got to the the end of your progress just now. My wife also started on it and was hooked on the first page.
Congratulations! I think it's definately a winner. I noticed a few typo's, but I see where others are bringing them to your attention so no point in me chiming-in.
Makes me think more fondly of my 3 cases of MRE's and thousands of rounds of ammo.
You should think about setting up an avenue to accept donations via Paypal or something. I'd gladly pay you the cost of a book for the pleasure of reading your work. I'll buy one, too, when it gets published!
I also prefer the single point of view that others mentioned. Adds to the reality to not know what's going on in the rest of the country because the characters don't know what's going on in the rest of the country. Helps the reader identify more closely with the characters. I don't think adding a bunch of "time of day" descriptions as others have suggested would add to the story. Since only (somewhat rare) mechanical timepieces would be working, most of the characters awarness of exact time of day would be spotty, at best. Again, that adds to the reader's immersion in the mindset of the characters.
Just my .02 cents.
I started reading it last nite when I found this thread, read until 4:00 AM, and got to the the end of your progress just now. My wife also started on it and was hooked on the first page.
Congratulations! I think it's definately a winner. I noticed a few typo's, but I see where others are bringing them to your attention so no point in me chiming-in.
Makes me think more fondly of my 3 cases of MRE's and thousands of rounds of ammo.
You should think about setting up an avenue to accept donations via Paypal or something. I'd gladly pay you the cost of a book for the pleasure of reading your work. I'll buy one, too, when it gets published!
I also prefer the single point of view that others mentioned. Adds to the reality to not know what's going on in the rest of the country because the characters don't know what's going on in the rest of the country. Helps the reader identify more closely with the characters. I don't think adding a bunch of "time of day" descriptions as others have suggested would add to the story. Since only (somewhat rare) mechanical timepieces would be working, most of the characters awarness of exact time of day would be spotty, at best. Again, that adds to the reader's immersion in the mindset of the characters.
Just my .02 cents.
Last edited:
Wow! I check in every couple of days to see if there's a new comment or two and I find 8 or 9. Thanks to you all, you really keep me motivated and inspired.
Judith - I am so glad that you didn't give up on finding the story and I am very happy that you like it. Unfortunately, it is not finished yet. There are four or five chapters to go and I have been struggling to make the ending as good as I think it needs to be. Hopefully, I'll have it done sooner than later. Thanks for your wonderful post. It makes me very happy to hear from readers of the fairer sex and to know that my humble work appeals to more than just a small target audiance.
Shooten - Thanks for the compliment. However, given the increased time between chapters lately and the number of aches and pains that I wake up with each morning trying to keep up with my two teenagers, I was considering changing my name to Quarterfast!
Eldon - I am pleased that you like it, too. With any luck, your wife may be reading it in the not too distant future.
Moondoggie - Thanks to you and your wife as well. I really appreciate your comments. All of the readers have been so helpfull over the course of this project. With the suggestions that I have received, I think that I will be able to significantly improve the story when I go back and do the re-write.
I would like to ask all of you a few questions, even the long time readers, if that is OK. Your answers will help me make the story better. Some of you have already answered some of these in your posts. But, the more people I can get to answer, the more help it is to me. Thanks...A really big THANKS.
1. How did you find out about "Lights Out"?
2. What was your initial reaction to the first chapter?
3. How much did you read before you knew that you liked it or didn't like it?
4. Are the characters described in enough detail?
5. What is your favorite part of the story?
6. What is your least favorite part of the story?
7. Is there too much or not enough detail in parts? (Please give examples.)
8. In your opinion, what would make the story better?
Thank you all so much. Several days ago, I went back and read every post in this thread. I can never express how much all the support and kindness you all have shown means to me. Even if I never make one red cent off of this work, your kind words have been payment enough. A million thanks to you all.
David
Judith - I am so glad that you didn't give up on finding the story and I am very happy that you like it. Unfortunately, it is not finished yet. There are four or five chapters to go and I have been struggling to make the ending as good as I think it needs to be. Hopefully, I'll have it done sooner than later. Thanks for your wonderful post. It makes me very happy to hear from readers of the fairer sex and to know that my humble work appeals to more than just a small target audiance.
Shooten - Thanks for the compliment. However, given the increased time between chapters lately and the number of aches and pains that I wake up with each morning trying to keep up with my two teenagers, I was considering changing my name to Quarterfast!
Eldon - I am pleased that you like it, too. With any luck, your wife may be reading it in the not too distant future.
Moondoggie - Thanks to you and your wife as well. I really appreciate your comments. All of the readers have been so helpfull over the course of this project. With the suggestions that I have received, I think that I will be able to significantly improve the story when I go back and do the re-write.
I would like to ask all of you a few questions, even the long time readers, if that is OK. Your answers will help me make the story better. Some of you have already answered some of these in your posts. But, the more people I can get to answer, the more help it is to me. Thanks...A really big THANKS.
1. How did you find out about "Lights Out"?
2. What was your initial reaction to the first chapter?
3. How much did you read before you knew that you liked it or didn't like it?
4. Are the characters described in enough detail?
5. What is your favorite part of the story?
6. What is your least favorite part of the story?
7. Is there too much or not enough detail in parts? (Please give examples.)
8. In your opinion, what would make the story better?
Thank you all so much. Several days ago, I went back and read every post in this thread. I can never express how much all the support and kindness you all have shown means to me. Even if I never make one red cent off of this work, your kind words have been payment enough. A million thanks to you all.
David
In the rewrite:
Bring the Sheriff back and kill the election shenagins plot!
You could almost write a whole novel just with that story line. And the guy running against the crooked a'hole that took over when the sheriff took the dirt nap isn't even a resident of Silver Hills. The novel is about Mark and the folks in Silver Hills. Write a sequel that covers the adventures of that other group - hell I can't even remember their name.
An unnecessary sub-plot - realistic maybe but it really pissed me off when the sheriff got killed. I don't read fiction to get pissed off. Call me old fashioned but I prefer it when the good guys WIN!
Bring the Sheriff back and kill the election shenagins plot!
You could almost write a whole novel just with that story line. And the guy running against the crooked a'hole that took over when the sheriff took the dirt nap isn't even a resident of Silver Hills. The novel is about Mark and the folks in Silver Hills. Write a sequel that covers the adventures of that other group - hell I can't even remember their name.
An unnecessary sub-plot - realistic maybe but it really pissed me off when the sheriff got killed. I don't read fiction to get pissed off. Call me old fashioned but I prefer it when the good guys WIN!
Rexrider
Member
I will try to answer your questions as best as I can.
1. How did you find out about "Lights Out"?
Right here at THR
2. What was your initial reaction to the first chapter?
I got sucked into the story right away. My first reaction was this is a very plausable story
3. How much did you read before you knew that you liked it or didn't like it?
After I hit the second chapter I had to keep reading.
4. Are the characters described in enough detail?
For the most part, I think they are. Its a fine line between providing enough detail about the characters and keeping the story moving.
5. What is your favorite part of the story?
I can't really give you a specific part but the encounters with the MZBs are really well done.
6. What is your least favorite part of the story?
The sub plot with electing a new Sheriff. Sorry, but I think you may have gotten a little side tracked with this. With the collapse of society escalating in your story, this sub-plot does not seem to fit. Everyone is just trying to survive. FEMA is the only visible form of the goverment around. The situation seems too far gone to have an official election for just a Sheriff. In the real world, people would be stuck with the dim-witted, semi-evil deputy taking over as Sheriff.
7. Is there too much or not enough detail in parts? (Please give examples.)
I think you have a pretty good balance of detail and keeping the story moving
8. In your opinion, what would make the story better?
Sorry, can't offer much here. I think the story is darn good so far
My only complaint at this time is the wait time between chapters.
Thanks Halffast for the story. I have no doubt it is hard work for you. I hope you can get it published.
1. How did you find out about "Lights Out"?
Right here at THR
2. What was your initial reaction to the first chapter?
I got sucked into the story right away. My first reaction was this is a very plausable story
3. How much did you read before you knew that you liked it or didn't like it?
After I hit the second chapter I had to keep reading.
4. Are the characters described in enough detail?
For the most part, I think they are. Its a fine line between providing enough detail about the characters and keeping the story moving.
5. What is your favorite part of the story?
I can't really give you a specific part but the encounters with the MZBs are really well done.
6. What is your least favorite part of the story?
The sub plot with electing a new Sheriff. Sorry, but I think you may have gotten a little side tracked with this. With the collapse of society escalating in your story, this sub-plot does not seem to fit. Everyone is just trying to survive. FEMA is the only visible form of the goverment around. The situation seems too far gone to have an official election for just a Sheriff. In the real world, people would be stuck with the dim-witted, semi-evil deputy taking over as Sheriff.
7. Is there too much or not enough detail in parts? (Please give examples.)
I think you have a pretty good balance of detail and keeping the story moving
8. In your opinion, what would make the story better?
Sorry, can't offer much here. I think the story is darn good so far
My only complaint at this time is the wait time between chapters.
Thanks Halffast for the story. I have no doubt it is hard work for you. I hope you can get it published.
garyk/nm
Member
Halffast,
You most definitely have a way with words. Even now, some 30 days after my initial reading (I waited until there was a lot to read), I still have a vivid mental picture of Silver Hills and several of the characters. Nice work!
Only nit, and a very minor one, is that with such a large (and growing) cast of characters, it is sometimes difficult for me to know right away who is being referred to, when everyone is on a first-name basis. End of criticism. I eagerly await future installments.
Gary
You most definitely have a way with words. Even now, some 30 days after my initial reading (I waited until there was a lot to read), I still have a vivid mental picture of Silver Hills and several of the characters. Nice work!
Only nit, and a very minor one, is that with such a large (and growing) cast of characters, it is sometimes difficult for me to know right away who is being referred to, when everyone is on a first-name basis. End of criticism. I eagerly await future installments.
Gary
Braz
Member
Howdy HF,
1. How did you find out about "Lights Out"?
From this post on THR.
2. What was your initial reaction to the first chapter?
Well, I was prepared for the usual over the top retoric most SHTF novels employ. But I was drawn in by the nature of the EMP attack. Only older cars would run, etc. It was a page turner.
3. How much did you read before you knew that you liked it or didn't like it?
Chapter three. I liked the Gunny character, and the story heated up with all the parts of the survival puzzle coming together.
4. Are the characters described in enough detail?
Sure. Thank gosh for no political retoric, or religious preaching!
5. What is your favorite part of the story?
The militarization of the neighborhood. I didn't expect them to fortify Silver Hills. That was a surprise, and I thought at the time, a mistake they would pay for.
6. What is your least favorite part of the story?
I'd guess the virus. Not that it isn't possible, just I'm worried about how anyone could survive it and keep the story going. Guess I'll see, huh?
7. Is there too much or not enough detail in parts? (Please give examples.)
Personal choice. I liked Ian Fleming's use of brand names and explainations of equipment. The more detail in items, the better for me. I like to know what model of gun, any custom features, and have them used as plot points. Same for trucks, equipment, etc. Others might not though.
8. In your opinion, what would make the story better?
Again, personal choice. I like action and suspense. LO has plenty, but there's never enough for me. Of course, I wouldn't want to lose the great fun of puzzling out how to drill for fresh water, grow crops and other survival skills. But a few more subplots like the missing in-laws and wondering when Jon will return for revenge wouldn't hurt my feelings.
Great stuff so far HF. Can't wait to see how all these stories weave together for the ending!
Pound those keys!
Your fan,
Braz/Spyda
1. How did you find out about "Lights Out"?
From this post on THR.
2. What was your initial reaction to the first chapter?
Well, I was prepared for the usual over the top retoric most SHTF novels employ. But I was drawn in by the nature of the EMP attack. Only older cars would run, etc. It was a page turner.
3. How much did you read before you knew that you liked it or didn't like it?
Chapter three. I liked the Gunny character, and the story heated up with all the parts of the survival puzzle coming together.
4. Are the characters described in enough detail?
Sure. Thank gosh for no political retoric, or religious preaching!
5. What is your favorite part of the story?
The militarization of the neighborhood. I didn't expect them to fortify Silver Hills. That was a surprise, and I thought at the time, a mistake they would pay for.
6. What is your least favorite part of the story?
I'd guess the virus. Not that it isn't possible, just I'm worried about how anyone could survive it and keep the story going. Guess I'll see, huh?
7. Is there too much or not enough detail in parts? (Please give examples.)
Personal choice. I liked Ian Fleming's use of brand names and explainations of equipment. The more detail in items, the better for me. I like to know what model of gun, any custom features, and have them used as plot points. Same for trucks, equipment, etc. Others might not though.
8. In your opinion, what would make the story better?
Again, personal choice. I like action and suspense. LO has plenty, but there's never enough for me. Of course, I wouldn't want to lose the great fun of puzzling out how to drill for fresh water, grow crops and other survival skills. But a few more subplots like the missing in-laws and wondering when Jon will return for revenge wouldn't hurt my feelings.
Great stuff so far HF. Can't wait to see how all these stories weave together for the ending!
Pound those keys!
Your fan,
Braz/Spyda
I would like to ask all of you a few questions, even the long time readers, if that is OK. Your answers will help me make the story better. Some of you have already answered some of these in your posts. But, the more people I can get to answer, the more help it is to me. Thanks...A really big THANKS.
1. How did you find out about "Lights Out"?
I found it on Frugal Squirrel
2. What was your initial reaction to the first chapter?
That this was going to be a very exciting book.
3. How much did you read before you knew that you liked it or didn't like it?
I think I was hooked right from the start. The main character is a very likable person, down to earth. I really like being able to "hear" his inner thoughts and struggles, it brings the whole situation closer to home.
4. Are the characters described in enough detail?
Yes and most of the main characters have their own little quirks.. very fun.
5. What is your favorite part of the story?
When John Wayne went to change his pants "L"
Also... My family and I are just beginners in the preparedness process. We're gathering all the info we can and trying to get all our ducks in a row, so to speak. I'd like to thank you for not only writing the best story I've read in years but for all of the useful info that I've been able to share with my family.
6. What is your least favorite part of the story?
Haven't found one yet.
7. Is there too much or not enough detail in parts? (Please give examples.)
I wouldn't change a thing!
8. In your opinion, what would make the story better?
A series of books from this same story line..and Author
Judith/JC1035
Thank you all so much. Several days ago, I went back and read every post in this thread. I can never express how much all the support and kindness you all have shown means to me. Even if I never make one red cent off of this work, your kind words have been payment enough. A million thanks to you all.
1. How did you find out about "Lights Out"?
I found it on Frugal Squirrel
2. What was your initial reaction to the first chapter?
That this was going to be a very exciting book.
3. How much did you read before you knew that you liked it or didn't like it?
I think I was hooked right from the start. The main character is a very likable person, down to earth. I really like being able to "hear" his inner thoughts and struggles, it brings the whole situation closer to home.
4. Are the characters described in enough detail?
Yes and most of the main characters have their own little quirks.. very fun.
5. What is your favorite part of the story?
When John Wayne went to change his pants "L"
Also... My family and I are just beginners in the preparedness process. We're gathering all the info we can and trying to get all our ducks in a row, so to speak. I'd like to thank you for not only writing the best story I've read in years but for all of the useful info that I've been able to share with my family.
6. What is your least favorite part of the story?
Haven't found one yet.
7. Is there too much or not enough detail in parts? (Please give examples.)
I wouldn't change a thing!
8. In your opinion, what would make the story better?
A series of books from this same story line..and Author
Judith/JC1035
Thank you all so much. Several days ago, I went back and read every post in this thread. I can never express how much all the support and kindness you all have shown means to me. Even if I never make one red cent off of this work, your kind words have been payment enough. A million thanks to you all.
MudPuppy
Member
1. How did you find out about "Lights Out"?
Here at HighRoad
2. What was your initial reaction to the first chapter?
It succeeded in making me want to read more.
3. How much did you read before you knew that you liked it or didn't like it?
Thought so by first chapter, positive within the first three (I understand publishers get the first three when reviewing?) I think you've got that part covered.
4. Are the characters described in enough detail?
I didn't think so initially. I've had a little trouble keeping the two major families' wives straight. But, after reading a bit, I think its fine.
5. What is your favorite part of the story?
I love how they had a "perfect" situation with the survivalists lined up, but stick with friends and the varied skills of everyday joe has paid off. They did what was "right" and it worked out great. Love that.
6. What is your least favorite part of the story?
I'll tell you when i see it.
7. Is there too much or not enough detail in parts? (Please give examples.)
I think its right on.
8. In your opinion, what would make the story better?
First, stop considering this a survivalist story. It is WAY more than that--its the story of a family that overcomes adversity. I think you'll limit your audience this way. I personally think the story is the "right length"--I don't know how much you have left to tell, but I wouldn't think you'd want to tom clancy it with 200k words out the gate. A publisher would probably be happy with about 80-90k for a first timer? And once your finished, have the idea for the next two of the same type ready.
I'd also take the time to clean up the grammar errors in the early part of the book. I can see that those largely stop, but the investment in the first parts would be good for the newer fans you are aquiring. Maybe let an English major take a peek at it if you know any?
This is my second favorite book ever, replacing Ralph Peters "Red Army" (and second only to the Bible).
Fantastic work--head to that finish line, you got a winner.
Here at HighRoad
2. What was your initial reaction to the first chapter?
It succeeded in making me want to read more.
3. How much did you read before you knew that you liked it or didn't like it?
Thought so by first chapter, positive within the first three (I understand publishers get the first three when reviewing?) I think you've got that part covered.
4. Are the characters described in enough detail?
I didn't think so initially. I've had a little trouble keeping the two major families' wives straight. But, after reading a bit, I think its fine.
5. What is your favorite part of the story?
I love how they had a "perfect" situation with the survivalists lined up, but stick with friends and the varied skills of everyday joe has paid off. They did what was "right" and it worked out great. Love that.
6. What is your least favorite part of the story?
I'll tell you when i see it.
7. Is there too much or not enough detail in parts? (Please give examples.)
I think its right on.
8. In your opinion, what would make the story better?
First, stop considering this a survivalist story. It is WAY more than that--its the story of a family that overcomes adversity. I think you'll limit your audience this way. I personally think the story is the "right length"--I don't know how much you have left to tell, but I wouldn't think you'd want to tom clancy it with 200k words out the gate. A publisher would probably be happy with about 80-90k for a first timer? And once your finished, have the idea for the next two of the same type ready.
I'd also take the time to clean up the grammar errors in the early part of the book. I can see that those largely stop, but the investment in the first parts would be good for the newer fans you are aquiring. Maybe let an English major take a peek at it if you know any?
This is my second favorite book ever, replacing Ralph Peters "Red Army" (and second only to the Bible).
Fantastic work--head to that finish line, you got a winner.
- Status