How do you handle people who stare you down?

[Mike1234567]

You're openly carrying and ask someone for money?

What about it?

A person could misinterpret your motives. Maybe I over-think such things but it seems pretty obvious to me.

 

[Sam1911]

Actually, I do see Mike's point.

Sure, you're just minding your own business, carrying your gun.

But asking strangers for money while -- let's just say "visibly armed" -- seems a big step toward charges of intimidation or even robbery.

Going visibly armed while completely minding your own business makes charges of menacing or threatening with a deadly weapon or whatever pretty hard to press. Once you start asking people to comply with a request -- especially for them to forfeit to you a tangible asset like money -- you're putting yourself in a very vulnerable spot.

Someone could very easily tell the next police officer they see, "That man right there came up and demanded I give him money. I saw his gun and was so scared I gave him some cash and ran. ..."

Have fun with the resulting "man with a gun" interaction with Officer Friendly.

I know we like to say that being visibly armed should not require any change in our otherwise lawful activities -- and asking someone to give you a dollar is certainly legal to do -- but I don't think it is wise to be blind to how other people's awareness of your weapon may change the social dynamic in negative ways.

To at least the average person, if some random stranger comes up to you and asks for money, the usual response is "sorry" or "no."

To the average person, if some ARMED random stranger approaches you and makes a request, the usual response is to comply (hoping they leave you alone), or to flee.

They will see the presence of your gun as coercive, whether you meant to threaten them or not. And almost any law enforcement officer, and DA, and probably jury is going to see their side of the story -- that there was an implied threat of force.

For better or for worse, going visibly armed does change at least some things about how we must operate in society.

 

[9mmepiphany]

So... "you got that strap" can mean only a couple different things and this will depend on whether it was spoken as a question or a statement. As a question, it simply means "Do you have that handgun?". I don't assume that this was the case though; I believe the remark was a statement. The young urbanite was making it known to the OP that he knew a fact.

What his statement almost certainly meant is, "I see that you have that handgun".

That is what it means in CA gang lingo also...my initial take was, "You're packing"/" You have a gun strapped on"

I was just interested in how the OP processed it...but he hasn't been back since yesterday afternoon

 

[jojo200517]

I gotta say I would have interpreted "you got that strap" to mean something like "does your holster have a retention strap?" I would have replied with a simple yes my holster has good retention abilities and open carry is legal in this state. When asked if it made me "feel big" I would have simply said "not really it makes me feel actual size".

 

[MikeNice]

A person could misinterpret your motives. Maybe I over-think such things but it seems pretty obvious to me.

Nah I thought the exact same thing.

 

[Bob Roper]

Where I live, one must carry concealed. unless you are police. I have never run into a situation such as this, as I try to never show. What I would worry about carrying in the open is if one were to find themselves in the middle of a robbery/crime/? I think the bad guys would shoot the person with a gun first...or releive you of it, and put a firearm in the hands of bad guys. Concealed carry has become so good over the years, as far as comfort and accessability...I'd never carry in the open on the street. Just my thoughts, and I am not trying to make it anyone elses...................Bob

 

[Jericho76]

In south africa few days go by that I don't get the exact same problem , most days I just don't make eye contact and pretend I don't notice them (while always keeping them in sight just incase they make a move) Here you won't find many people carrying openly because it makes you a target , stolen guns are hot commodities. Some days I give as good as I get when it comes to staring and having attitude , but that is usually just when I had a bad day , and it is definately not the smart move.
Always remember that those idiots have a lot less to lose than you do when things turn ugly , ignore them. But never act weak."

Being from SA too, I know what you mean. Unfortunately there the gangsters can get away with much worse acts than here in USA. Raises the stakes of a pissing contest a lot.

 

[ChCx2744]

Just calmly and politely reply "Sorry, I thought you were a friend I knew from long time ago, my mistake." That comment will usually diffuse any "stare down" situation, most of the time.

As to when he said "You got that strap," just say "Yeap" and continue on with your business.

 

[harrygunner]

I think tensions have ramped up over the last five years in this country. That complicates "staring" situations. Then, there's the psychopaths.

I might have run across one. A friend lost her glasses while out at a shopping area. She called for me to drive her home since she can't drive without corrective lenses.

She's shopping and I'm in the parking lot looking for her car. As I scan, I notice a guy in a van (do all nuts drive vans?) staring at me like I had kicked his dog. Naturally, I keep him in sight as I look for the car.

I find the car, get in. The van drives off, then reappears with the driver facing me from the drivers side of my friend's car.

I have NO idea what triggered this guy. I got out of the car, keeping cars between him and me as I walked into the mall.

Man, in California, auto body penetration is an important factor when choosing a handgun caliber.

The usual responses to someone staring had no chance with this guy. Fortunately, he stayed in the van, and drove off as I neared the mall.

 

[coloradokevin]

Just calmly and politely reply "Sorry, I thought you were a friend I knew from long time ago, my mistake." That comment will usually diffuse any "stare down" situation, most of the time.

I might have a hard time convincing Joe-gangsta that I had a friend who looked anything like him at any point in my life. Just sayin'

 

[9mmepiphany]

I have NO idea what triggered this guy. I got out of the car, keeping cars between him and me as I walked into the mall.

The usual responses to someone staring had no chance with this guy. Fortunately, he stayed in the van, and drove off as I neared the mall.

Sounds like a security officer. When he saw you driving around the lot and looking at cars, he thought you were a car burglar looking for a car to break into

 

[harrygunner]

Mall security? Haha. This was a nut in an old van.

Around here, they ride either white carts or white Jeep Liberties with their nice clean uniforms and utility belts.

But is was a good reminder of why I carry.

 

[rhodco]

I don't care about the eyes. The eyes can't hurt you. I'm only concerned with what is in the hands. Watch the hands and be prepared to move quickly if needed.

The old saying "An armed society is a polite society" reminds us that any situation can escalate into armed combat very quickly. Just because you are ready for battle doesn't mean you go looking for it. Just the opposite. Knowing the trouble, expense, and grief involved afterwards, most of us want to avoid unnecessary confrontation.

It is worth it for me to smile and just say nothing to avoid trouble. If it happens to escalate into a SD scenario, it won't be because of anything I did or said. I will probably prevail in the immediate fight, but the court battle could be much worse if witnesses say I contributed to escalation of mutual combat. The only way to protect yourself there is to remain the innocent party throughout the entire encounter. Say nothing.

 

[Readyrod]

Didn't read all of the posts but the original poster should have just told the gansta type that the gun made him feel safe. Staring contests are prob not a good idea in these kinds of situations and if you have the gun you don't need to get involved in them. I wouldn't insult him because I wouldn't go out of my way to insult anyone, it's not cool. I think that one important thing about having your gun is to give you the confidence to chill in these kind of situations.

 

[Kleanbore]

Posted by rhodco: It is worth it for me to smile and just say nothing to avoid trouble. If it happens to escalate into a SD scenario, it won't be because of anything I did [or did not do], or said. I will probably prevail in the immediate fight, but the court battle could be much worse if witnesses say I contributed to escalation of mutual combat. The only way to protect yourself there is to remain the innocent party throughout the entire encounter. Say nothing.

I offer a suggestion of one very small addition to this excellent comment.

 

[Jaymo]

I don't talk to strangers.

 

[oneounceload]

How do you handle people who stare you down?

Stare right back at them............and when they inevitably ask "What you starin' at?", I generally reply......"Nothing much"

 

[Mike1234567]

Confrontation meets confrontation. True manhood at its best. This is often why we go to war. Heck, it's gang thinking, IMO. Don't get me wrong. You really wouldn't want to back me into a corner. I just try not to get into a corner.

You ask me? This is a maturity issue.....

 

[scaatylobo]

I see him as being racist,and you as taking the bait.

It was a no win contest.

So why bother entering.

I have had a few incidents in Buffalo and in NYC and the best is for me to sat nothing.

There are SO many camera's and cell phone video's that ANYTHING you say could be used in a court against you.

Silence is golden,as long as its not considered a frightened effect.

The fact you were well armed was not that type of incident.

btw,I am totally against OC as its a way for some pos to get a drop on you and take your weapon.

 

[Ringolevio]

The power of a Cheshire cat grin

I'm surprised at how much macho posturing I'm hearing about, and how few posters have mentioned smiling as an integral part of de-escalating.

Actually, it's more of a grin. Properly done, it clearly fosters the notion in the troublemaker's mind that you know something he doesn't know.

And that makes the grin (along with body language that bespeaks confidence but not challenge) a powerful tactic, as it is disconcerting, disarming, and ultimately de-escalating.

It's especially effective if your broadest grin is accompanied by "Nice day, isn't it?"

 

[Kleanbore]

This one has run its course and then some.